Worst Week Ever 0 In Which Creationists Drank Jizz March 29th, 2013 at 5:00pm Axl Rosenberg Check out this week’s top stories, as well as a video of a naked fat dude attacking a member of the Westboro County Church.
Megadick 0 When Dave Met Willie… March 29th, 2013 at 1:00pm Axl Rosenberg Dave Mustaine hounds Willie Nelson to do a guest appearance on the new Megadeth album, Willie Nelson asks, “Who is Dave Mustaine?”
Megadick 0 Dave Mustaine is NOT Descended from Monkeys, Y’All March 27th, 2013 at 10:30am Axl Rosenberg Short version of what he said: “Creationism is where it’s at, brah. Science is fun and I love all the little gadgets scientists use, though!”
Upcoming Bullsh*t 0 This May or May Not Be the Cover for Megadeth’s Supercollider March 25th, 2013 at 10:00am Axl Rosenberg But it probably is.
Megadick 0 Dave Mustaine Celebrates the Return of Twinkies March 21st, 2013 at 11:00am Axl Rosenberg The evil commie President Obama fails to undermine the American way of life again!!!
What the...?? 0 Dave Mustaine is Going to be a Featured Soloist with the San Diego Symphony March 18th, 2013 at 4:30pm Axl Rosenberg Insert your own “Symphony of Destruction” joke here.
Greatest Hits 0 Give a Heavy Metal Valentine’s Day Card to Someone You Love February 13th, 2013 at 2:00pm MetalSucks These are 110% guaranteed to enhance your lovemaking!
Lick My Label 0 Megadeth Reveal New Album Title and Label Home February 12th, 2013 at 10:00am Axl Rosenberg Both are anticlimatic.
Editorials 0 There is Only One Vocalist Who Should Guest on the New Megadeth Album February 7th, 2013 at 11:00am Axl Rosenberg The band is soliciting fan suggestions — but we can think of only one singer who absolutely NEEDS to be on the record.
Br00tal-lists 0 The Twenty Greatest Metal Albums of All Time… According to LA Weekly February 1st, 2013 at 1:00pm Axl Rosenberg SPOILER ALERT! Black Veil Brides did not make the cut.
Punishing Pictorials 0 If Metal Ran Hollywood January 31st, 2013 at 1:30pm MetalSucks The movies would be a much more br00tal place…
Rampant Rumors 0 Who Will Be on Gigantour 2013? January 25th, 2013 at 2:00pm Axl Rosenberg And what label signed Megadeth?
Megadick 0 Dave Mustaine is Going to Open a Soup Kitchen in Haiti January 14th, 2013 at 4:00pm Axl Rosenberg An act of bonafide goodwill, or an attempt to win back some of the fans he’s alienated? And does it matter?
Megadick 0 Dave Mustaine Reclaims Slide Guitar for ‘Merica January 9th, 2013 at 3:30pm Axl Rosenberg By which I mean there is apparently going to be slide guitar on the new Megadeth album.
Megadick 0 Dave Mustaine Believes in Chemtrails January 7th, 2013 at 10:30am Axl Rosenberg Also seems confused as to the definition of the word “unarguable.”
Music Dorkery 0 Ben Higgins Pays Homage to Thirty Guitarists in One Solo January 4th, 2013 at 2:30pm Axl Rosenberg Consequently, he is being courted by every cover band in the world.
F-F-F-Feudin' 0 Dave Mustaine Hates Men’s Wearhouse January 2nd, 2013 at 11:30am Axl Rosenberg Suits sell… but who’s buying?
What the...?? 0 Scientists Decide Disgusting Hairy Six-Legged Pest Reminds Them of Dave Mustaine December 14th, 2012 at 12:00pm Axl Rosenberg New species of tarantula named in the Megadeth mainman’s honor.
Lick My Label 0 Megadeth Part Ways with Roadrunner Records December 10th, 2012 at 2:30pm Axl Rosenberg In other news, water is wet!
...And F*ck You Too 0 Dave Mustaine Thinks President Obama is Candyman December 6th, 2012 at 12:30pm Axl Rosenberg The Megadick has also devised a top-notch new system for measuring debt!
