That whole “Faith No More new album” thing was not some cruel and fantastic dream! (Bonus: fifty other heavy new releases!)

A surprisingly energetic NSFW video from everyone’s favorite British vampires.

I mean, it’s not good, either, but, hey, it’s a start!

We have the best job in the universe: here are 65 heavy new releases for you! Your life will never be the same!

Does the fact that Soulfly is touring with death metal bands tell us anything about the sound of their new album, Archangel?

Green Jellÿ may be a more appropriate analogy.

No bullshit, no filler — just some serious metal with a capital M.

The band’s new album art is also your new breast friend.

So wait, she has a dong? What are we looking at here?

#TBT

Minsk, Byzantine, Voivod/At The Gates, Soilwork, Gorguts, Malthusian, Enforcer, and tons more heavy new releases! TONS!

Which do you prefer, and why?

Ufomammut, Pantommind, Blliigghhtted, Wrathage, Murg, Inculter, Pregierz, and 42 more heavy new releases by bands with normaller names!

One final recording from the Divine Intervention line-up.

Shit is ill, son.

The Soulfly/Dillinger/Mastodon supergroup does what a supergroup should.

Heavin’ on men it’s lay down lies him who left Startooie’s head lay dum? Takka avas ski senda boring my pot lied on lemell ledee. Who made a rundee love my lenbee eeuhkiesta hell I say ooohhhh noo! Ahnga oh man may dah leadee doctah reedoori leftsta eye um.

My night wish is the same as my day wish: that this band would go away.

Given 60 heavy new releases, you could blindly select at least four gems. Will it be Kjeld, Enslaved, Santa Cruz, and The Haunting Presence? Or Sacral Rage, Urfaust, Psycroptic, and Harm’s Way?? Or Garden Of Worm, Mnemic, Cancer Bats, and Europe??

Devil You Know have a new video for “As Bright as the Darkness.” No, the song is not about Howard Jones changing his skin color.