Heavin’ on men it’s lay down lies him who left Startooie’s head lay dum? Takka avas ski senda boring my pot lied on lemell ledee. Who made a rundee love my lenbee eeuhkiesta hell I say ooohhhh noo! Ahnga oh man may dah leadee doctah reedoori leftsta eye um.

Man goes to see band, gets his face destroyed by band, poses for photo with band, gets a buncha free metal shit in the mail.

GO! Go! GO! Go! NO! No? NO! NO!

Sounds like someone carrying a box of breakdowns who fell down a flight of stairs.

The end of Lord Mantis according to their frontman.

Mastodon comes down the wall to save us all.

The Portugese band reaches a new level of bombast — and that’s not a good thing.

Heylmun hilarity.

But who? And what about a drummer???

Eddie examines the Bill DeMott controversy.

The 3-day open air festival in Illinois takes a stab at recreating the grand metal festivals of Europe.

Given 60 heavy new releases, you could blindly select at least four gems. Will it be Kjeld, Enslaved, Santa Cruz, and The Haunting Presence? Or Sacral Rage, Urfaust, Psycroptic, and Harm’s Way?? Or Garden Of Worm, Mnemic, Cancer Bats, and Europe??

English language, prepare to get Cosby’d.

Devil You Know have a new video for “As Bright as the Darkness.” No, the song is not about Howard Jones changing his skin color.

Everything you need to know about metal at SXSW 2015, all in once place.

We now might take Indian’s assertion that they “can no longer be a band” to have meant “two of our members are about to be busy with a bigger band that just parted with their frontman, but nobody knows that yet.”

Former Dream Theater drummer pissed that ER wouldn’t see him on his schedule, fans pissed that he doesn’t understand how ERs work.

Colour Haze all in my brain…

Are they just messing around or do they really hate each other this much??