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It’s not a roomuh.

RIYL: Gorguts, Dysrhythmia.

Tarot cards foretell a great deal of headbanging in your future.

No more blast beats for Charn.

Further proof that genius is the simple idea no one has ever thought of before.

The little ‘uns are $250, the big ‘uns are $500.

And by “steal,” I mean “cover.” Also, I mean “tour Mexico for the first time.”

Peers now include Bruno Mars, not Napalm Death.

His bad reputation has liberated him. Will he cling to its shackles?

That was (too) fast (for love).

“Consider that rather than use a guitar cord or standard wireless, that in the name of science and for all mankind Flea courageously had a newly invented breakthrough in microchip technology installed in his ass,” hypothesizes the Guns N’ Roses vocalist.

You’ll never guess which albums he picks out.

Beef, son.

You are not prepared for what you are about to see and hear.

Not trolling.

RIYL: Massive Attack, Portishead, ††† (Crosses).

Also: a new music video for “My Enemy.”

Nominees include Gorguts, Protest the Hero, KEN Mode, and other bands that the U.S. National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences would never recognize.

And right in the middle of the performance TOSIN ABASI GETS ATTACKED BY AN ANGRY KOALA BEAR!!! (Okay I may have made that part up.)

Sergeant D. examines how yesterday’s garbage becomes tomorrow’s gold.