Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Slipknot’s Slipknot May 18th, 2021 at 12:54pm MetalSucks “There were nine of them, but only four of them of them were really important.”
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Nelson’s After the Rain May 5th, 2021 at 11:09am MetalSucks “Come play with us, Tommy… forever… and ever… and ever…”
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Iced Earth’s The Glorious Burden April 27th, 2021 at 1:37pm MetalSucks Schaffer pulled a can bear spray on me and said “We’re calling this album The Glorious Burden.” I saluted and said “Aye aye captain.”
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Ozzy Osbourne’s Ozzmosis February 4th, 2021 at 12:15pm MetalSucks I’ll let you in on a secret: originally, this whole album was going to be about daytime television.
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Ted Nugent’s Ted Nugent January 7th, 2021 at 2:29pm MetalSucks This guy shat himself a lot.
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 This Band Knows How to Sell Records November 24th, 2020 at 1:56pm MetalSucks “They made a music video with a completely unmotivated use of a mostly-naked babe holding a huge gun. They know that ‘T and A’ should stand for ‘Treasure and Assets.'”
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Five Finger Death Punch’s American Capitalist November 12th, 2020 at 11:16am MetalSucks “After about two hours of conversation, it became apparent that Ivan Moody was under the impression a capitalist is someone like David Draiman, who uses the caps lock on his keyboard all the time.”
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Megadeth’s Risk November 4th, 2020 at 12:23pm MetalSucks “Metallica had a ‘Load’,” Dave Mustaine pouted, folding his arms and sticking out his lower lip. “I want a ‘Load,’ too.”
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Danzig’s Skeletons October 22nd, 2020 at 12:26pm MetalSucks “Glenn made me promise that I’d make sure none of it sounded ‘fruity.'”
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Atreyu’s Lead Sails and a Paper Anchor October 15th, 2020 at 11:30am MetalSucks When a toddler recommends a metal band, you listen.
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Mayhem’s De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas October 1st, 2020 at 2:04pm MetalSucks The record only sold a dozen copies, but it’s revered by Brooklyn’s population of carpenters and baristas.
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Mötley Crüe’s Generation Swine September 24th, 2020 at 4:23pm MetalSucks The band’s “vision” was to make something that sounded like Nine Inch Nails crossed with Sonic Youth crossed with The Pixies crossed with Live crossed with Stabbing Westward crossed with Oasis, “but punk.”
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Slayer’s Repentless September 16th, 2020 at 9:47am MetalSucks Some people thought Slayer were done, but Kerry “Ker Bear” King wasn’t worried.
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Attack Attack!’s Someday Came Suddenly September 11th, 2020 at 1:14pm MetalSucks Every sound on the record is either made by a computer or filtered through a computer or edited via a computer or recorded, filtered, and edited by a computer.
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Limp Bizkit’s Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water August 26th, 2020 at 2:23pm MetalSucks They told me it was some kind of joke. I didn’t get it.
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Poison’s Look What the Cat Dragged In August 18th, 2020 at 1:33pm MetalSucks We hit the slopes and recorded the whole album in fifteen minutes.
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Guns N’ Roses’ Chinese Democracy August 5th, 2020 at 2:46pm MetalSucks I told them I’d produce the album for twice my regular fee. They agreed immediately and sent a private Concorde to pick me up because it was faster than driving twenty minutes to Axl’s mansion.
Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer 0 Totally True Memoirs of a Metal Producer: Metallica’s St. Anger July 28th, 2020 at 1:21pm MetalSucks Kirk called me in tears. “Mommy and daddy are fighting,” he said. “Don’t worry, kid,” I told him. “I’ll be on the next plane.”
