I CAN’T EVEN THINK OF A HEADLINE FOR THIS: PHIL ANSELMO RINGTONES

Phil Anselmo has released a series of ringtones that fans can download, and while that seems a little odd at first, it’s actually a fairly brilliant idea. The guy has millions of fans around the world, his stage banter is always interesting (whether you interpret “interesting” to mean funny, provocative, or both), and his semi-drawl makes not just his singing voice, but his speaking voice, one of the most recognizable in all of metal.

So, yeah, the idea of Phil Anselmo telling me to pick up my phone every time someone calls is not entirely unappealing. As opposed to, say, Slayer socks.

Unfortunately, audio samples of the ten ringtones have not been released, which makes sense — people would just rip ’em for free if they were — but I can’t actually speak to the humor/entertainment value of these things. I’m also not clear on exactly how much they cost — the press release simply says “Charges apply per ringtone.” In any case, if you want one (or more), the release instructs you to “text the keywords below to 69937 and your ringtone will be sent to your phone.” Here’s the list of available ringtones:

Artist: Phil Anselmo
Title: Ring
Keyword: Phil1

Artist: Phil Anselmo
Title: Ring Inhale
Keyword: Phil2

Artist: Phil Anselmo
Title: Ding Dong
Keyword: Phil3

Artist: Phil Anselmo
Title: Bbbbbb
Keyword: Phil4

Artist: Phil Anselmo
Title: Pick Up The Phone
Keyword: Phil5

Artist: Phil Anselmo
Title: There’s Someone Calling
Keyword: Phil6

Artist: Phil Anselmo
Title: Answer
Keyword: Phil7

Artist: Phil Anselmo
Title: Whaaoo
Keyword: Phil8

Artist: Phil Anselmo
Title: I’ll Keep Calling
Keyword: Phil9

-AR