BROTHER, CAN YOU SPARE $12,000,000?

President-elect Barack Obama (FUCK YEAH MOTHERFUCKER!) has some tough challenges ahead of him, not the least of which being our deeply troubled economy. Today I learned of yet another victim of these hard times: Lars Ulrich.

Yes, this economic crisis adversely affects even millionaires with platinum-selling new albums, a fact made painfully clear with the sad news that Metallica’s beloved drummer has been forced to sell one of his prized Jean-Michel Basquiat paintings to bring in more currency with which to light his Cuban cigars and garish wallpaper in his many, many McMansions.

I think I speak for everyone here at Metalsucks when I say, “Suck it, Trebek!”

-GS