SEEMS LIKE A GOOD PLAN TO ME

If there’s one lesson that we try to impart to our beloved readers here at MetalSucks, it’s that you should always use a fake name when sleeping with underage girls so their fathers/the authorities can’t find you later. But if there’s two things we try to impart to our beloved readers here at MetalSucks, it’s that being a metal musician blows a lot of the time. See, while it probably seems fun in theory to be in a band, it’s really, really hard to make any money playing music, which is why you see so many dudes hit their thirties and go “Fuck this, I am getting a job at the barber shop” or whatever. And in case you think “Oh, you’re bloggers, fuck do you know about being a professional musician?”, it’s worth noting that guys like Doc Coyle, Mark Hunter, and Eyal Levi have all said the same thing, and they’re all in bands that have been signed to large and reputable labels, and have done massive tours like Ozzfest, and all that other shit kids dream about when they dream about being in a band for a living.

So when I read some seventeen kid online saying “We are gonna try to get big before we have to go to college, but if we are good enough we wont go,” my first thought is, “See ya when you’re serving my kids Happy Meals in ten years!” And not just because I don’t know what decent college would ever accept a student who can’t even spell the word “won’t” correctly.

-AR

[via Stuff You Will Hate]