COLUMBIA RECORDS THROWS MONEY IN THE SH*TTER, MAKES BIG BUDGET VIDEO FOR PERRY FARRELL’S SATELLITE PARTY

Dear Columbia Records,

I love Perry Farrell. I love Nuno Bettencourt even more. I would hope that the combination would produce something worthwhile, but sadly this is not the case. “Wish Upon a Dogstar” is a weak song that does neither Perry nor Nuno’s legacies justice. Why then, did you make a big budget video for this song?

Hey guys, didn’t you get the memo? NO ONE CARES ABOUT BIG BUDGET MUSIC VIDEOS ANY MORE! MTV hasn’t played videos for years, and since the Internet has leveled out the playing field and computers have allowed anyone with a DV camera and iMovie to make a semi-decent looking video, the only highly successful videos have been exactly of this sort, such as the one by OK Go. The old model is DEAD, the major label reign is over, the system doesn’t hold up anymore.

This is a complete waste of money. Whoever at the record label decided to have this made should be fired. The song sucks, and this record is going to be a miserable flop, bought only by Perry and Nuno die-hard fans. Since this record has no chance of ever recouping, I sure hope Perry and Nuno got sweet advances and are enjoying a nice vacation under a Tahitian Moon.

Sincerely,
Vince Neilstein