IT’S 2011. TEENAGERS ARE STILL BUTTHURT ABOUT HOT TOPIC. ARE YOU??
The best thing about teenagers is that they take everything so seriously: whether it’s an upcoming math test, getting grounded, or missing out on seeing their favorite band this weekend, if they don’t get their way, the world is coming to an end. Everything is such a big deal!!
For example, as long as I can remember, kids have been getting mad about Hot Topic. Sometimes they’re mad because Hot Topic sells something that they like, other times they’re mad because Hot Topic doesn’t sell something they like… you never know. For example, they got butthurt 10-15 years ago because you could buy Hatebreed shirts at Hot Topic, and now they’re butthurt because there aren’t enough Hatebreed shirts at Hot Topic — so lulzy.
The main difference is that now teenagers have so many ways to express their stupidity on the internet, which is great for people like me who like laughing at them and how angry they get about trivial bullshit like what shirts they sell at the mall. In this post, I will share a few of my favorite Tumblr temper tantrums about Hot Topic — plenty of lulz after the break, and make sure to follow my Tumblr!
TL;DR version: Hot Topic sucks because they carry lame, trendy stuff, like Justin Bieber shirts. They should carry more cool, authentic stuf,f like Marilyn Manson and Static-X shirts.
Y SO SRS LAWREUN
This girl begrudgingly accepts that Hot Topic has Lady Gaga and Black Veil Brides merch, but she draws the effing line at Justin Bieber shirts! “I’M TIRED OF YOUR CONFORMITY BULLSHIT.”
I love how seriously this bro takes his t-shirt purchases, and I would love to hear more details on what “buying merch is really all about”! Also, he writes like an IRL version of my “idiot teenager on the internet” persona: “the guy’s out there busting there ass’s”
WTF MOM WHY WON’T U JUST LET ME USE YOUR CREDIT CARD THEY ARE ALMOST OUT OF YOUTH LARGE SUISIDE SILENCE SHIRTS I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL I GET A JOB I FREAKING HATE U MOM I SWEAR U WANT MY LIFE TO BE MISERABLE UGHHHHHH
I want to print this out on acid-free, archival paper and frame it. Then I will wait until this girl is 30, find her on her lunch break at the insurance company where she is a claims processor, and read the post aloud as I present it to her with paparazzi cameras flashing, emphasizing the part that goes “Now when I walk in there I see what the latest fad is, and mildly rage when it’s something I was into before it ‘got big.’”
LOL @ this ugly fat bitch who’s smoking a pipe getting butthurt about “skinny scene chicks with mile high hair.” U JELLY, GRANDMA?? LOL even harder @ how she thinks she “really told them off,” when in reality as soon as she walked away they made a Tumblr post about how some weird old lady freaked out on them at Hot Topic when they were just trying to buy a We Came As Romans shirt.
What do you think of Hot Topic?? Will kids ever not rage about that store? Why are they always out of white Bring Me The Horizon shirts in medium when I go there??? What was the last thing YOU bought at Hot Topic???
-Sergeant D.
Sergeant D. discusses the latest hot topics every day at Stuff You Will Hate.
