NEILSTEIN ROSENBERG SOUNDSCAM: DEF LEPPARD HAVE A POSSE

Vince isn’t here, so I guess it falls to me to take over his regular “Neilstein SoundScam” column… BWA-HA-HA!!!

Some of the more noteworthy sales stats from the latest Top Hard Music charts after the jump!

1 DEF LEPPARD – MIRRORBALL
Last week: 19,830 (debut)

This is mostly a live album, which means it’s basically a greatest hits collection. Still, I had no idea that Def Lep continue to be this popular. And I know I said I was gonna be a dick, but, really, I’m not offended by Def Leppard, so all I can say is, good for them!

2 FOO FIGHTERS – WASTING LIGHT
Last week: 14,130
Cume: 446,442

This  actually sold 17% more copies than it did last week. Do they have a new single out or something? I can’t imagine they’re still getting mileage out of having a song in Thor, since that movie came out over a month ago, and they haven’t started their U.S. tour yet, so that can’t be it… I don’t begrudge them their success, though. They’re a good band and this is a good record.

Wow, I am being super-nice so far. Okay, okay, seriously, I’m gonna be a bigger dick right… about… now:

3 SEETHER – HOLDING ONTO STRINGS BETTER LEFT TO FRAY
Last week: 12,237
Cume: 113,165

Who the fuck is buying Seether records in 2011? This band is garbage, and their fifteen minutes were up about seven years ago. If you bought a copy of this album, make sure you also spit in the face of a homeless person at some point today, because thanks to you they will continue to starve while Shaun Morgan gets to go about his business as though he weren’t the worst thing ever.

4 ADELITAS WAY – HOME SCHOOL VALEDICTORIAN
Last week: 7,310 (debut)

Yeah I don’t really know who this but they’ve just announced a tour with Sevendust. Are they good? Should I check them out? The name of the band and the album certainly make me wanna run for the hills.

6 HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD – AMERICAN TRAGEDY
Last week: 6,346
Cume: 165,286

This album’s sales dropped 1% last week. Just a single percent. And not only that, but their last album, the inappropriately titled Swan Song, sold more than 2k copies this week to land at #34 on the charts. So see the Seether entry above re: spitting in the face of a homeless person.

7 ARCH ENEMY – KHAOS LEGIONS
Last week: 7,310 (debut)

I don’t have sales figures on the band’s last album of new, original material, Rise of the Tyrant, but this debuted three spots higher on the same chart. So hopefully everyone is pleased. In any case, it’s a terrific record, and, oh hey, have we mentioned that we’re sponsoring their upcoming North American tour with DevilDriver, Skeletonwitch, and Chthonic?

8 IRON MAIDEN – FROM FEAR TO ETERNITY
Last week: 5,558 (debut)

If Maiden can sell this many copies of their umpteenth greatest hits package, this one focusing pretty exclusively on songs people over the age of thirty don’t care about, then the band is doing something right.

12 BLACK STONE CHERRY – BETWEEN THE DEVIL & THE DEEP BLUE SEA
Last week: 4,497
Cume: 17,799

A massive 66% drop from its debut last week… that can’t be good.

41  METALLICA – METALLICA
Last week: 1,893
Cume: 15,673,444

44  EVANESCENCE – FALLEN
Last week: 1,844
Cume: 7,521,461

45  LINKIN PARK – HYBRID THEORY
Last week: 1,805
Cume: 9,863,879

Really, I just wanna know WHO THE FUCK IS STILL BUYING THESE ALBUMS?!?! Seriously. Who are the almost two thousand people that only just recently purchased the Black Album? Is it kids just getting into Metallica? Wouldn’t they just illegally download that shit? Me no understand.

51  HAMMERFALL – INFECTED
Last week: 1,706 (debut)

62  ORIGIN – ENTITY
Last week: 1,515 (debut)

73  AMORPHIS – BEGINNING OF TIME
Last week: 1,301 (debut)

87 JOB FOR A COWBOY – GLOOM
Last week: 1,153 (debut)

These are the other big metal debuts from last week. They all strike me as being respectable sales figures, given that they’re all “real” metal albums, which is to say, unlike Def Leppard or Seether, they were never going to have the benefit of a radio single or mainstream marketing push. I’d be curious to know how they stack up against label expectations, but I can’t imagine anyone is weeping about these numbers.

-AR