THE MOTLEY CRUE/POISON TOUR IS A GO
So in November, Bret Michaels said that Poison and Motley Crue were gonna do a big summer tour together, despite the fact that Nikki Sixx once said that there was “No way in fucking hell” that Motley “would ever, ever tour with a fucking band like Poison,” ’cause “That would be the death of us… I will not be attached to that kind of fake bullshit.” And then a couple of days later, Tommy Lee shot down the rumor with an enthusiastic “NO!”
Well, now Michaels has gone on CNN’s Piers Morgan Tonight and announced that Poison and The Crue will, indeed, do a big summer tour together, to celebrate the former band’s 25th anniversary. And just to make extra-sure that Nikki and Tommy now have to eat their words, the tour is going to be called “Glam – A – Gedon 25.”
Now, I’m of two minds about going to this tour:
PROS
- The twelve year old Axl Rosenberg thinks this is the best tour this side of Guns N’ Roses/Metallica/Faith No More.
- Despite their rampant idiocy, the last time I saw Poison live (I think it was circa 2002?), they were a lot of fun.
- It will be fun to laugh at Nikki and Tommy for doing a tour they said they’d never do.
- If you like hair metal, how can you seriously consider not going to see this tour? It’s like a Big Four tour, only of bands that dress like girls and play hardened pop music!
CONS
- The last time I saw Motley Crue live (circa 2005), they were terrible. Mick Mars can’t move, Vince Neil can’t sing, and Tommy Lee insists on reminding everyone that he’s a retard as often as possible. Nikki Sixx is literally the only dude in the band who isn’t a total embarrassment.
- I can’t believe that Nikki and Tommy actually agreed to this.
- My conscience may never forgive me if Vince Neil spends the money I give him on booze and then drinks that booze and then drives while drunk and kills someone.
- The Big Four tour is pretty overrated, too.
So I guess I have some time to make up my mind — tickets don’t even go on sale until March 18 — but… oh, what to do, what to do!!!
-AR
