SLAYER TOURING WITHOUT JEFF HANNEMAN: WWWWWEEEEEIIIIIRRRRDDDD!!!

So, apparently Jeff Hanneman was hospitalized last month, and underwent emergency surgery for a serious infection in his right arm, which he may or may not have contracted from a spider bite. (Not to be insensitive, but I think it would actually be kinda funny if he contracted the infection from, I dunno, jerking off too much, or opening a jar of pickles, or something like that, and the band is just saying it was a spider bite because that sounds so much more metal.)

Hanneman is expected to make a full recovery, but he’s obviously not gonna be picking up his axe anytime soon, and the band has an Australian tour coming up… so they’re gonna do the tour anyway, with a yet-to-be-announced fill-in guitarist.

Now, I’m of two minds about this. Part of me thinks, “Gee, they cancelled all their touring when Tom Araya had medical issues, so why is Hanneman expendable?” And you might say, “Well, Araya is the voice of Slayer!”, but that implies that singers are more important than guitarists, which is both dickish and untrue. And I’m sure lots of people will be tempted to say that you could get any number of guitarists to play a million notes a second and sound just like Hanneman, but, come ON, the dude wrote “Raining Blood” and “South of Heaven” and “War Ensemble” and a hundred other songs that you’ve partied to over the years — he deserves some credit, y’know?

But another part of me thinks that if the band gets someone exceptionally cool to fill-in, well, these shows could end up being really fun and special. I keep racking my brain to figure out who might be available for the gig… I think it would be hi-fuckin’-larious if they somehow persuaded Marty Friedman to step in for a beat, thereby giving a middle finger to Dave Mustaine. Japan’s a lot closer to Australia than California is, that’s for sure.

Of course, it won’t be Friedman, and who knows who it will be. But hopefully not just some guitar tech.

More info as we get it…

-AR