Behemoth’s Nergal Acquitted for “Offending Religious Feelings” with a Penis Crucifix Sculpture
Another weekend, another doozy when it comes to Behemoth frontman Adam “Nergal” Darski. Amidst all the chaos that seems to be his everyday life, Nergal just received an update on a case that’s been following him for a few years now. It involves two men (three if you’re counting the Jesus and four if you’re counting the penis) and a sculpture.
Tom Gabriel Fischer, frontman of Celtic Frost, gifted Nergal with a dick sculpture he made with Jesus on the cross—the fun part is the penis is part of the cross. Understandably so, Nergal praised Fischer’s handmade sculpture on social media. This ruffled some non-phallic-loving members of the Polish government, who sought to make Nergal pay for “offending religious feelings,” which I guess is an actual punishable offense over there. He’s now been acquitted of the charges and released a statement on the matter yesterday (March 9).
“In 2018, on this very day, I posted a silly video on Instagram, singing an old children’s song for Women’s Day while waving a certain artifact. Hardly high comedy, but was it blasphemous or shocking? I didn’t think so—but it was enough for a few clowns on the other side to take offense and run straight to court.
“A certain conservative MEP loudly vowed I’d end up in prison, while the ever-litigious Ordo Iuris joined the choir of the outraged. After years in court and tens of thousands zlotis spent on legal defense, I was fully acquitted just days ago.
“The verdict is a bittersweet victory tho. I’m glad justice prevailed, glad I put my opponents in their place. But I still consider it as an absurd that a mediocre joke in this country can spiral into a costly, nerve-wracking legal battle.
“Nevertheless, to all the women out there… loooots of love
“PS. The artifact in question is a stunning sculpture by my friend and Black Metal legend, Tom Gabriel Fischer. Right now, my lawyers are working to have it returned to me, as it was a personal gift from him.”
