Federal Prosecutors Recommend Iced Earth Founder Jon Schaffer Get Zero Jail Time

My favorite part about the ongoing legal troubles of Iced Earth guitarist and failed insurrectionist Jon Schaffer is just how quickly he went from announcing to a German newspaper that “a group of thugs and criminals hijacked this country a long time ago. Now they’re making their big move, and it’s not gonna happen” to metaphorically getting down on his knees and begging those same thugs and criminals to forgive him. Schaffer holds the dubious distinction of being the very first person in this entire incident to plead guilty and agree to cooperate with prosecutors. The rebellious little an-cap is now the U.S. government’s little lapdog. Now make him bark.

Well, it seems that Schaffer’s good behavior got the little doggie a treat, as the U.S. government is recommending a fairly lenient sentence for him. Namely, prosecutors are recommending that he get three years of supervised probation, $2,000 in restitutions, and a mandatory $200 special assessment. That’s getting off pretty easily considering that, the last time a bunch of racists threw this kind of a hissy fit over not being in charge anymore and tried to overthrow the government, their punishment became known as The Reconstruction Era.

According to the October 14 sentencing memorandum, that was obtained by Blabbermouth, prosecutors said in their recommendation for Jon Schaffer:

“Such a sentence would be sufficient to reflect the seriousness of this offense while also accounting for the three months defendant was detained following his arrest, the defendant’s early acceptance of responsibility, and the substantial assistance he has provided to law enforcement pursuant to his cooperation plea agreement.”

So good news, Jon, it seems like you’ll manage to avoid jail time. All it took was giving up the principles you claimed to stand for. Good boy!