DIMMU DRAMA GETS SILLIER: SNOWY SHAW IS OUT

Holy shit, this is hilarious.

Last month rumors started to circulate that Snowy Shaw was the new bass player and clean vocalist for Dimmu Borgir. I mean, really, they were barely rumors. Everyone knew it was true. Therion, Shaw’s previous band, even basically said as much in a press release.

Then, yesterday, Dimmu Borgir finally confirmed the so-called “rumor,” and even released photos of Snowy in his Dimmu Borgetup:

Call me cynical, but I assume that announcement was made now, a month after we all already knew what the deal was, to help promote Dimmu’s new single, “Gateways,” which went on sale via various digital retailers yesterday (it is not, as of this writing, streaming anywhere that I know of). I still haven’t heard the song, but I assume that it sounds an awful lot like Dimmu Borgir, only with Snowy Shaw singing instead of ICS Vortex.

Problem is, I just read that Snowy has now quit Dimmu and returned to Therion.

Now… there must be some absolutely HILARIOUS explanation for all of this, and I’m dying to hear it. How the fuck does someone quit a band — let alone a band as successful as Dimmu Borgir — twenty-four hours after announcing that they’ve joined that very same band? It’s not like these things just happen, y’know… I mean, I doubt that everything was hunky dory in Dimmu land yesterday when the announcement was made, and then this morning Snowy found Shagrath drinking his soy milk even though it was CLEARLY MARKED “SNOWY” ON IT!, and thus quit the band. Tension had to be building for some time. And for Therion to have already accepted Snowy back… I mean, this call had to be made at least yesterday, right? So, like, right around the time Dimmu were announcing Snowy was in the band…?

So did Snowy get cold feet and leave Dimmu standing at the altar? Are the dudes in Dimmu just, like, major d-bags, as some former members have alleged (remember that Mustis claims was fired from the band via text message)?

I am DYING to know the full story here. Mark my words, this story is only gonna get funnier as it develops. I mean, it’s gonna make the whole Anthrax situation look like Schindler’s List.

-AR