Papa Roach Lean Into the Meme with Pizza Cutter Merch

Who doesn’t love goofin’ on a song every once in a while? Changing lyrics literally gave some of America’s greatest artists their careers and for some of the more contrarian of us, it’s a way to say we’re so much cooler than what’s on the radio. You know, like asshole gatekeepers.

So when Papa Roach put out their massive nu metal hit “Last Resort” more than 23 fucking years ago, of course shitty kids (yours truly included) made some stupid lyrics to dunk on the song. Usually it didn’t extend beyond the first verse or so, but it usually devolved into “cut my x into pieces, this is my x.” “Cut my wife into pieces” was a classic, if memory serves my dumbass teenage years right.

Yet one variation of the song has always been about cutting one’s life into pizza. You know, because the cheesy, saucy, bread-y food item is life — at least it is here on the east coast…

Well, it turns out Papa Roach are leaning into that meme with the release of a specially branded pizza cutter and other accompanying pieces of merch. Released as part of their “Broken Home Goods” collection, the official item description reads as follows:

It slices, it dices, it “Cuts My Life Into Pizza!”

Grab the first ever, Official ‘Cut My Life Into Pizza’ Cutter now available at the newly minted “Broken HomeGoods” ???? . The perfect gift, the perfect stocking suffer, and the perfect ironic kitchen tool for anyone who’s ever heard the classic tune.

2 1/2″ blade, large enough to cut through any pizza crust. Thumb guard to prevent injury while cutting quickly. Product size 9″. Complies with FDA, Food Grade.

Coming in at $24.99, it’s priced just at the cusp of what’s acceptable for a gag gift if we’re being honest here. Still, you can’t fault the guys for looking to cash in on something — albeit decades after the fact. But that’s neither here nor there, as you can grab your own Papa Roach pizza cutter right now.