DUMMY NOSENOTHING REVIEWS OTEP’S 20TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW

Alright, so what the fuck? Last week my lady says “Hey did you get tickets to Otep’s 20th anniversary show or what?” And I didn’t get tickets. Fuck, I’ve only been listening to Otep for a few years, I didn’t know she’d been around for twenty years. So I tell my lady, “I didn’t get the tickets, baby, I’ll go on the internet and get them right now.” And she goes, “You can’t get them right now! The show is sold out, Dummy!”

Now, I don’t want my lady to be mad at me, so I go on Craig’s List and I hunt down some tickets. And they were totally fucking expensive, but like I said, I don’t want my lady to be mad at me. So now we’re off to see Otep.

Well, fuckin’ Otep comes out, and right off the bat, I’m confused. She dyed her hair brown and stopped waxing her lip? Why? Doesn’t she want boys to like her anymore? Blondes are so freakin’ HOT! And she’s playing a guitar, and talking funny. What the fuck is she doing? Is this like one of those performance art comedy things? Who does she think she is, Tom Green or something?

And when I said I didn’t know Otep had been around for twenty years – sheesh, I wasn’t kidding! She didn’t play a single song I knew! I mean, if I told you you were going to see Otep play all her best songs from throughout her entire career, wouldn’t you assume she was gonna do “Blood Pigs” or “War Head?” She didn’t even do “Breed,” and that’s the best song she ever wrote!

So she does all these songs I ain’t never heard. They were all long and boring and hard to mosh to. My lady and I didn’t even stay ’til the end.

Man, what a waste of money.

-DN