F*CK FLYING, HELLOWEEN JUST WANNA DANCE!

I don’t remember where I read this, but I seem to recall a story about ABBA – yes, ABBA – demoing each of their songs in every conceivable musical style, just to make sure that the inevitable Swede disco-pop version was, in fact, the track putting its best foot forward. In other words, somewhere out there, Björn Ulvaeus and company are sitting on tapes that feature a calypso version of “Dancing Queen,” a country version of “Mamma Mia,” a metal version of “S.O.S.” It would be kind of amazing if ABBA ever released those tapes, but I guess that might endanger the success of Mamma Mia 2: Holy Shit I Can’t Believe Meryl Streep Did This AGAIN.

Helloween don’t have a movie franchise based on hit Broadway show based on their music, though, so for their new greatest hits collection, Unarmed, they are, in fact, “re-imagining” all of their most famous shit. These might not be old demos (rather, they’re new re-workings), but I’m still pretty curious to see how their fan base reacts to, say, a dance version of “If I Could Fly.”

And I’m not making that shit up. Noisecreep is currently streaming a dance version of “If I Could Fly.”

Are Helloween fans open-minded people? Since it’s power metal, are they resigned to its natural cheesiness and not that bothered by the concept of a techno re-do? Or are they gonna get their panties in a twist the way, say, Deicide fans probably would if Glen Benton suddenly hired Telefon Tel Aviv to remix “Dead by Dawn?” I guess we’re about to find out.

And here’s the original “If I Could Fly,” in case ya don’t know it:

Unarmed comes out March 30 on The End.

-AR