Sh*t That Comes Out Today: May 29, 2020

New stuff this week as we attempt to return to normal life despite the fact that nothing has really changed!

Alestorm
Curse of the Crystal Coconut (Napalm)

I just can’t with this. I’m not immediately dismissive of Alestorm — their gimmick was fun initially, I had a blast seeing them live, and I still enjoy their first few records. This is dumb even by their standards. Sure, it’s catchy as hell. It’s not enough. The band seems on autopilot, the jokes feel lazy and self-congratulatory, and the rap metal track (see below) is an abomination. Scuttle this ship already.

Leon del Muerte
Fu*k the Virus (Self-released)

Journeyman guitarist Leon del Muerte (who’s played with Phobia, Nausea, Impaled, Intronaut, Exhumed, Murder Construct, Nails, and probably everybody else) teams with an absolute murderers row of musicians from both his other acts and bands as varied as Spirit Adrift, Gorguts, Idle Hands, and Carcass to cover a bunch of kick-ass classic rock tunes to try to make some cash while quarantined. Some of the production is iffy (probably a result of having to piece together a bunch of home recordings), but it’s a blast hearing Exhumed’s Matt Harvey sing “Photograph.” The surprise highlight? Chicago’s “25 or 6 to 4.”

Mrs. Piss
Self Surgery (Sargent House)

Be careful when Googling this — the album cover is NSFW. To save you the trouble of sullying your search history, Mrs. Piss is a duo consisting of Chelsea Wolfe and her sometimes-collaborator Jess Gowrie. It’s a more direct outlet than Wolfe’s self-titled project. An 18-minute burst of catharsis and noise bursts, somewhere between no-wave and industrial metal, there’s something specifically ’90s about it. Still, rage of this caliber feels timeless.

Sorcerer
Lamenting Of The Innocent (Metal Blade)

Stately doom for stately people, Sorcerer have been casting spells since the late 80s (even if their first actual album didn’t see the light of day until 2015). Record number three finds the Swedes doing the Candlemass thing, and doing it well — Candlemass’s own Johan Langquist even guests on “Deliverance.” Not much distinctive going on here, but if you need more of this in your life, then these laments fill that void nicely.

Xibalba
Años en infierno (Southern Lord)

Xibalba are basically Sepultura if Sepultura only had the slow-motion mosh parts. The Pomona-based group started out as a hardcore act but soon moved into death-y doom-y thrash-y stuff. Años en infierno continues their crawling reign of destruction, although they do occasionally swing their wrecking ball at more of a mid-tempo. It still does the necessary damage.

OTHER SHIT THAT COMES OUT THIS WEEK

Bleed From Within – Fracture (Century Media) Listen
Def Leppard – London To Vegas DVD/CD (Eagle Rock) Listen
Grave Digger – Fields Of Blood (Napalm) Listen
Geezer – Groovy (Heavy Psych) Listen
Mike LePond’s Silent Assassins – Whore Of Babylon (Silver Lining) Listen
Nous – III (Our Silent Canvas) Listen
Palaye Royale – The Bastards (Sumerian) Listen
Vandenberg – 2020 (Mascot) Listen
Violent Hammer – Riders of the Wasteland (Hells Headbangers) Listen
The Wise Man’s Fear – Valley Of Kings (SharpTone) Listen