Toothgrinder Share New Song/Video, “My Favorite Hurt,” Addressing Relationship Codependency

Start reading Toothgrinder frontman Justin Payne Matthews’ statement accompanying the band’s new single and video, “My Favorite Hurt,” and you might think the song is about alcohol and/or drug addiction, certainly not an uncommon topic in music since the year zero. Keep reading, though (it’s a little long, but worth it), and you come to realize Matthews is singing about an addiction of a different kind. Other than to say I’ve been there, Justin, and I totally get where you’re coming from, I’m going to leave it up to him to do the talking:

“‘My Favorite Hurt’ digs deeper into the relationships I have destroyed while in the throws of alcoholism and addiction. There is this dark place I have found myself many times throughout my life where I am always reaching for that next high and that next adrenaline rush. I am looking for anything to keep the wall between fantasy and reality hidden.

“The problem is while I selfishly seek out pleasure in all forms, there is an endless amount of destruction I leave in my path. People I love more than anything turn to nothing more than a means to an end. It’s a crippling mind fuck that overtime manipulates itself into a psychosis.

“I am addicted to people, affection of all kinds, newness, the ego and most of all the ebb and flow of pleasure and pain. I think I can trace back these thought patterns to age 5 or 6, little things that make so much sense now, but could not be brought to the surface for so long.

“I have found solitude in true love and meaningful connection. I never want to intentionally hurt anyone again, and for those I have, I am deeply sorry. ‘My Favorite Hurt’ is the light born from the death of the shadow. I expose myself to help others, because if I continue to live a lie and hide the truth, I can never be my true self.”

Matthews has created an email address for Toothgrinder fans to share their stories of addiction and codependency. “As with our release of I AM, I hope I can bring to light to the issues I have dealt with and maybe someone can relate and reach out. My name is Justin, and I AM an alcoholic, addict and codependent.” You can email him at [email protected]. 

Listen to the song below, and watch the video over at Alt Press.