Necessary Roughness, Week 8: It’s Over Now

We’re roughly halfway through the season and it’s becoming more and more clear who’s who and what’s what. The Giants, Browns, Bills, Raiders, Cardinals and 49ers are all complete butt and will now have to figure out a way to the very bottom for that sweet ass number one pick. The Rams, Saints, Patriots, Chiefs and Panthers (?) are all looking like the cream of the crop. The AFC North, AFC South, NFC North and NFC South are all looking really competitive, for vastly different reasons. Next week I’ll do an overview because that’s more fun than writing about the fucking Giants.

Washington 20 – Giants 13: Washington has to be the favorite in the NFC East now. The Eagles beating the flaming trainwreck that is the Jags means nothing. Adrian Peterson ran for 149 yards and he even caught a pass! For a touchdown! This is some next level stuff for AD. My Giants are in full-on rebuilding mode. Obviously, it would’ve been better to do this starting in the offseason, but I don’t think anyone anticipated things being THIS bad. Everyone knew the O Line would suck, but not like this. Fucking a… let’s hope the new GM and Schurmer can get something accomplished by trading everyone away and stockpiling a billion picks. I keep telling my dad they should engineer a trade for Derek Carr… that’s a good idea, right?

Rams 29 – Packers 27: This was a great game and showed me why, despite their mediocre record, the Packers are always a threat to take over the NFC. Unfortunately for them, the Rams are just too goddamn good right now. Todd Gurley and the offensive line are an unstoppable force. He seems to just outrun opposing defenses effortlessly. It’s crazy to watch because it looks like he could be going even faster somehow. Look at the  TD catch below… Gurley looks like he’s taking a leisurely stroll to the endzone without a care in the world. On top of his physical dominance, he also made the incredibly heads up play to ice the game when he decided NOT to score a touchdown with less than a minute left in the game and the Packers out of timeouts. This game was the strongest case for the Rams as the best team in the NFC; they started down and slowly ground their way back and eventually closed it out. They definitely got some help from Ty Montgomery, but this conclusion felt kind of inevitable as the game wore on.

Saints 30 – Vikings 20: I thought the Vikings looked great to start this game. If it wasn’t for the Adam Thielen fumble and Kirk Cousins pick-six, they could have potentially upset the Saints, who have to be considered #2 in the NFC at this point. Like the Rams, the Saints will out-value you every step of the way. If Alvin Kamara doesn’t kill you, Michael Thomas will. I hope Eli Apple enjoys his playoff run.

Fantasy Pimp of the Week: James Connor, who leads everyone in total points this week with 38.2! 146 Rushing Yards, 66 Receiving Yards, two Rushing TDs, one Receiving TD. I’m sure all the yinzers are convinced this guy is better than Le’Veon Bell, but they are idiots. Por que no los dos? When Le’Veon Bell comes back, the Steelers are going to be truly scary again. They need a new nickname for their squad of skill position players. Killer B’s was so cool… Maybe now they can have a goofy haircut themed name? What does Antonio Brown have on his head lately?

James Connor really has a goofy haircut doesn’t he? pic.twitter.com/f3NL8NLCTi

— Thomas Carrigan (@ThomasCarrigan2) October 28, 2018

Some thoughts:

• Seeing Jameis Winston get benched after four picks is very, very sweet. When he came into the league I felt like Winston didn’t get a fair shake because of the crab legs, and “fuck her right in the pussy” incidents. Who among us wasn’t a complete and total fuckstick in college? But now, it’s clear he’s a complete jerk off and he’s an utter and total phony. Fuck him. Honestly, he makes Ray Lewis seem almost tolerable.
• Tonight the Bills will get their shit smashed by the Patriots. The big joke is ‘how many Bills will retire at halftime?’ but I think the better question is where the fuck is #billsmafia? I feel like they’re sleeping on the job this year. Where are the table smashing, self-immolating maniacs from last year at?
• I’m sorry I’ve been using Twitter to embed videos this whole time. The NFL is crazy for not letting them load on other sites. It didn’t even dawn on me until yesterday to try Instagram. I don’t even use Twitter in my personal life!

The Number Twelve Looks Like You is heading out on tour in November with our buds Rolo Tomassi and Arsonists Get All The Girls. If anyone wants to watch football or play Magic: The Gathering at any of our dates get in touch! Check out the dates below and tell me how much we suck in the comments.