Melvins Announce New Album + Tour Because it’s Monday

It’s been two weeks since the Melvins released any new music or announced any ridiculously-long stints or the road, but don’t worry — nothing is wrong with Buzz and company. Remember, even the most prolific and hardworking among us is entitled to 2-3 days vacation time a year.

Having squeezed as much fun out of their long weekend off as possible, the band has now announced that they’ll release a new eight-song offering, Pinkus Abortion Technician, on April 20 via Ipecac. In case the name didn’t tip you off, the album will feature “both ongoing Melvins’ bass player Steven McDonald (Redd Kross, OFF!) and Butthole Surfers’, and occasional Melvins’, bottom ender Jeff Pinkus on bass.” Just as excitingly, one of the eight songs is a cover of the Beatles’ “I Want to Hold Your Hand,” and another is a mash-up of the James Gang’s “Stop” and Butthole Surfers’ “Moving to Florida” called “Stop Moving to Florida” (sound advice, BTW).

Here’s the cover art:

And, of course, with the arrival of new music comes new tour dates, which will feature this two-bass-player version of the band. The trek will last a mere ten weeks. Christ, these dudes are tireless. Just typing that sentence made me need to go lie down for a nap.

Here are the dates:

April 26 San Diego, CA Casbah
April 27 Tucson, AZ The Rock
April 29 Dallas, TX Tree’s
April 30 Austin, TX Mohawk
May 1 Houston, TX White Oak Music Hall
May 3 Baton Rouge, LA Spanish Moon
May 4 Birmingham, AL Zydeco
May 6 Charlotte, NC Visulite Theater
May 7 Carrboro, NC Cat’s Cradle
May 9 Baltimore, MD Ottobar
May 10 Philadelphia, PA Underground Arts
May 11 Brooklyn, NY Warsaw
May 12 Hamden, CT Space Ballroom
May 13 Boston, MA Paradise Rock Club
May 14 Montreal, QC Corona Theatre
May 16 Toronto, ON Velvet Underground
May 18 Cleveland, OH Grog Shop
May 19 Pittsburgh, PA Rex Theater
May 20 Louisville, KY Headliner’s Music Hall
May 22 Nashville, TN 3rd & Lindsley
May 23 Memphis, TN Hi-Tone
May 24 St. Louis, MO The Ready Room
May 25 Kansas City, MO Record Bar
May 26 Tulsa, OK Cain’s Ballroom
May 27 Norman, OK Opolis
May 29 Santa Fe, NM Meow Wolf
May 30 Flagstaff, AZ The Green Room
May 31 Phoenix, AZ Crescent Ballroom
July 12 Santa Ana, CA The Observatory
July 13 Los Angeles, CA Troubadour
July 14 Fresno, CA Strummer’s
July 16 San Francisco, CA Great American Music Hall
July 17 Sacramento, CA Holy Diver
July 19 Seattle, WA Neumo’s
July 20 Portland, OR Wonder Ballroom
July 21 Vancouver, BC Venue Nightclub
July 24 Edmonton, AB Union Hall
July 25 Calgary, AB Marquee Room
July 27 Winnipeg, MB Pyramid Cabaret
July 28 Fargo, ND The Aquarium (Dempsey’s Upstairs)
July 29 Minneapolis, MN First Avenue
July 30 Madison, WI High Noon Saloon
July 31 Chicago, IL Park West
August 2 Grand Rapids, MI The Pyramid Scheme
August 3 Detroit, MI El Club
August 4 Columbus, OH A&R Music Bar
August 5 Indianapolis, IN The Vogue Theatre
August 6 Rock Island, IL Rock Island Brewing Company
August 7 Des Moines, IA Wooly’s
August 8 Omaha, NE The Waiting Room
August 10 Englewood, CO Gothic Theatre
August 11 Ft. Collins, CO Aggie Theatre
August 13 Salt Lake City, UT Urban Lounge
August 14 Las Vegas, NV The Bunkhouse Saloon