BREAKING: Mike Portnoy Can’t Read Death Metal Band Logos

Today in extremely important, earth-shattering, breaking news: Mike Portnoy has trouble reading death metal band logos!

The source: none other than Admiral Bluebeard himself.

The shocking revelation came in reference to the lineup announcement for this year’s MetalSucks-sponsored Devastation on the Nation tour, featuring… featuring… uhhh… well, that was exactly the problem. Portnoy saw the poster, couldn’t figure it out, then decided to tweet about his experience:

Hahaha sorry, no offense to any of the bands involved….but I have to laugh! I can’t read any of these logos… ???? pic.twitter.com/eBqaC4iI9t

— Mike Portnoy ???? (@MikePortnoy) January 21, 2018

Dude’s got a point. Aborted excepted (maybe Arkiak, and possibly Psycroptic if you devote a little extra focus), those are some gnarly fucking logos. As they should be, naturally.

I would certainly encourage Mr. Portnoy to check out this show when it rolls through his native New York — May 25th in Brooklyn, to be exact — which, for the record, includes the very excellent musical acts that go by the names Aborted, Psycroptic, Ingested, Disentomb, Arkaik, Venom Prison, Signs of the Swarm and Vale of Pnath. His mind will be blown by the technicality!

Here’s the full list of tour dates:

5/25 – Brooklyn, NY The Kingsland
5/26 – Montreal, QC L’Astral
5/27 – Ottawa, ON Mavericks/Café Dekcuf
5/29 – Lakewood, OH The Foundry
5/30 – Detroit, MI Harpos Concert Theatre
5/31 – Joliet, IL The Forge
6/01 – Kansas City, MO The Riot Room
6/02 – Denver, CO The Roxy Theater
6/03 – Salt Lake City, UT Metro Music Hall
6/05 – Vancouver, BC Rickshaw Theater
6/06 – Seattle, WA Studio Seven
6/07 – Portland, OR The Analog Theater
6/08 – Berkley, CA Cornerstone *Bay Area Death Fest*
6/09 – Los Angeles, CA 1720
6/10 – Mesa, AZ Club Red
6/13 – Fort Worth, TX Tomcats West
6/14 – Austin, TX Come And Take It Live
6/15 – McAllen, TX Cine El Rey
6/16 – Houston, TX Walters
6/17 – Atlanta, GA The Masquerade
6/20 – Durham, NC Motorco Music Hall
6/21 – Baltimore, MD Soundstage
6/22 – Waterford, NY Chrome
6/23 – Pittsburgh, PA Rex Theater