THE TOP 10 MANLIEST METAL ALBUM COVERS OF ALL TIME

The fine folks at the unfuckwithable Deciblog have published a list of the Top 10 Manliest Metal Album Covers of all time, and the results are extremely manly indeed. I was thrilled at the inclusion of Accept’s super-studly Balls to the Wall, and not one but two Manowar covers. My only suggestion would have been Poison’s uber-hetero Look What the Cat Dragged In, but I’m sure Decibel would rather shut its doors forever than proclaim anything by Poison manly in the slightest.

On Accept, those German stud-machines, who came in at #4:

Uh, this album cover has been poured over by many a metalhead. What does it mean? What are Accept trying to communicate here? Should I feel slightly uncomfortable when I gaze upon this man’s sweaty/hairy tensed-up leg? Why is he holding a ball? What type of ball is it? It looks hard. How do I know this? Well, the man’s veins are showing. Not his main vein (thank Thor in a g-string!), but the veins in his hand. All these years and we still haven’t reached a conclusion. And, yes, even now we’re slightly uncomfortable.

Touche.

-VN