Agalloch Members That Aren’t John Haughm Reunite in New Project

METALHEAD 1: Dude, did you hear the terrible news? Agalloch broke up!

METALHEAD 2: No they didn’t!

MH1: Yes they did!

MH2: No, they really didn’t, they’re just pulling an Audioslave.

MH1: You mean they got a new singer and will now make middling active rock radio versions of their old songs?

MH2: No, no, not that part. Just the part where they ditch the dude bringing bad vibes to the table and re-brand themselves.

MH1: Oh, for real? Where’d you hear that?

MH2: In Billboard, bruh!

[MH2 hands MH1 a copy of Billboard]

MH1: [reading aloud from the article] “Anderson stated that he, [bassist Jason] Walton and [drummer Aesop] Dekker were moving forward as a new band, with a fourth member soon to be announced.”

[back to MH2] But, dude, what if they soil the Agalloch name?!?!

MH2: Keep reading, dawg!

MH1: [reading aloud again] “‘We’re very excited about it,’ says Anderson. ‘We’re currently demoing new material, and we hope to play live and tour … We’re definitely going to try to do something different, [but] we don’t want to soil the Agalloch name. We don’t want to recall it too easily.’”

[back to MH2] Ohhh… cool! What’s it called? When is it coming out???

MH2: Dude, you really need to just keep reading.

MH1: [reading aloud again]”A name and a label have not been chosen yet.” Ah-ha!

MH2: Now you’re cooking with gas!

[via Metal Injection]