OUR BEST CONTEST EVER: RUN METALSUCKS FOR A DAY

No, we are not fucking around. If you’ve ever thought you could do better than us, well, here’s your chance. Complete details after the jump.

Here’s how this is gonna work:

1. TELL US WHY WE SUCK IN THE COMMENTS SECTION BELOW. Anytime between now and midnight EST this Friday, August 14, leave a comment below saying why MetalSucks, y’know, sucks. It can be as long or short as you want – it just has to be funny. And we mean actually funny. Axl and Vince will choose five to ten of their favorites to move onto round 2. Please note that YOU MUST REGISTER FOR THE COMMENTS WITH A REAL E-MAIL ADDRESS, as all finalists will be contacted by e-mail.
2. VOTE FOR WHO YOU THINK SHOULD WIN. Those selected by Axl and Vince will then be announced next Monday, August 17, at which point you, the readers, will vote for your favorites. The poll will close at midnight EST on Friday, August 21. And whomever wins gets to…
3. TAKE OVER METALSUCKS ON FRIDAY, AUGUST 28. All your stories must be turned in on Thursday, August 27 to be readied for publication. This is not because we want to look them over or edit them; on the contrary, we will be not be doing any editing or proofreading of any kind. You can say anything you want about anyone you want – you will be completely uncensored. You’ll need to provide the site slogan for that day. And if you want graphic(s) or video(s) to accompany a post, you will need to provide those, too.  We just need the stories handed in a day early so we can program them to publish the following day. That’s because, unfortunately, we can’t give you an administrative MetalSucks account, as that would allow you to delete previous posts, fuck up years of hard work, etc. But every story we run that day will be written by you, with your name on the byline. MetalSucks will be your site for one day. But there is one other catch:
4. IF YOU WIN, YOU HAVE TO MEET YOUR DEADLINE. Failure to claim your prize or do your job as sole editor/blogger for the day will result in your name being published on your takeover day so all the world knows you were too lazy/pussy/whatever to follow through. And that will be the only story that runs that day.

It should go without saying, but just in case: if you’ve ever written or worked for MetalSucks in the past, you’re ineligible for this contest. Everyone else gets a fair shot.

And that’s that.

Good luck, everyone. Now make us laugh.

-Axl & Vince