VAN HALEN WATCH: ALL MEMBERS WILL NOW ATTEND RN’R HALL OF FAME INDUCTION CEREMONY

That’s right, folks: Eddie “I Do Porn Soundtracks Now” Van Halen, Alex “I’m Not Eddie” Van Halen, Wolfgang “I’m Still Not Eddie” Van Halen, David “I’m Not Howard Stern” Lee Roth, Michael “Can You Believe They Replaced Me with a Kid?” Anthony and Sammy “Last Laugh After All” Hagar will ALL attend the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony here in NYC on March 12… although still no word on whether or not anyone will perform. Last year Metallica performed Black Sabbath covers instead of any Sabbath members actually getting up and performing, so I’m guessing Velvet Revolver will perform and, I dunno, if we’re lucky maybe Wolfgang and Michael Anthony will mudwrestle to decide who gets to be in the band.

If there ever is a band again.

This is getting fucking ridiculous.

-AR