Mark for War: Who Will be the Ultimate Diva of the Divas?
Greetings from Sunny Las Vegas, NV.
Years ago, I was walking around a casino in Las Vegas and ran i to Lilian Garcia. I said, “Lilian.” She stopped and turned around. I shook her hand and said, “Big fan,” and walked away. So I’ve got that going for me.
I also ran into Bill Goldberg in a casino once. He was hanging out with Carrot Top. I said nothing to either of them.
Speaking of lovely women like Lilian…
We are in the midst of what Stephanie McMahon has coined the “Divas Revolution.” Presumably WWE will start to push the Divas division properly for once. The Divas have been receiving better slots on the cards lately; Raw has had two, count em, TWO divas matches per episode. Said matches have been longer than usual, and for the first time in years I’ve noticed WWE has attempted to separate valets from in-ring wrestlers. Normally WWE would book talent like Summer Rae and Lana in trainwreck matches just to use them. Instead they’ve used said girls strictly as valets, and have let the actual female workers hold down the in ring work.
There are a few things I wanted to address about some of the divas turning these gears right now.
The Bellas
I think the WWE made a huge booking mistake making Nikki Bella the Divas champion for this long (she’s days short of eclipsing the title’s reign record, held by AJ Lee). I think making Bre champ for the same length of time would have also been a bad move. A while back I thought it would have been a great move to put the Bellas in a triple threat match with either AJ Lee or Paige, who would have been the champ at the time. A hard-fought match would have ended with the Bellas pinning the champ simultaneously and a controversy would follow on who the real champion is. The Bellas would decide to be co-Champions. They’d walk out to the ring together each holding one end of the belt. They would take turns defending their belt. Due to a loophole in WWE doctrine, and Steph and HHH realizing it’s best for business, they would have rolled with it. Then, just as they’re approaching the AJ record mark, the authority would force them to fight each other for the belt, meaning only one would be able to claim the right as the longest reigning Divas champion of all time. They’d build up a huge feud for a good month. They’d jump each other, get in brawls every week and so on and so forth. Finally, they’d have their match. As the crowd waits with batted breath, both would lie down on the mat and get counted out, and they would ride off into the sunset together only to get randomly beaten the following night by someone. Or, if WWE booking really wanted to get slick, they’d have one of the Bellas raise their shoulder just as the count hits nine. It would make sense for it to be Bre, and for her to morph into a mega-bitch Mr. McMachon character from there.
Becky Lynch
I find Becky Lynch annoying at this point. She’s skilled in the ring, but brutal on the mic. Honestly, one of the first times I heard her cut a promo on WWE TV I thought she was hearing impaired. I was stoked because I thought it would be extremely interesting to have the first hearing impaired WWE Diva in history on the roster. She reminded me of the American Gladiator Siren, who I used to love (she too was hearing impaired).
Gimmick wise, Becky Lynch is sort of Jeff Hardy meets a B-grade Marvel superhero, which I find annoying. But these grievances aren’t deal breakers. She should be a star.
Charlotte
Though great in the ring, I think WWE lazily threw together her character. She has little if any personality shine through on her weekly segments. She’s skilled in the ring, has an interesting look, and yes, is the daughter of Rick Flair. WWE has saddled her with the WOOOO gimmick. This was a mistake. We all know that no catch phrase will ever be as big as WOOOO. But that doesn’t mean that WWE couldn’t have given Charlotte her own catch phrase. What about “OOOOW,” which is WOOOO backwards? The WWE universe is looking for anything and everything to chant. For God’s sake, they got behind Zack Ryder’s “WOOO, WOOO, WOOO. You know it.” I also think it would have been cool to give Charlotte a gimmick where she habitually rolled her eyes at her father and his legacy, sort of like most daughters do. She’d respect the hell out of him, and love him, but ultimately she’d be embarrassed by him when he shows up on WWE and starts acting like an ass at the age of 70. This would be very interesting.
Sasha Banks
I wrote a column a few months back saying how I thought Paige would eventually become the greatest WWE Diva of all time. After seeing Sasha Banks over the last couple months I wish I could take that column back. I think Sasha is going to be the IT Diva for years to come. Great in the ring. Great promo. Original look. Related to Snoop Dogg. She’s a mega bitch character reminiscent of early Rock meets early Randy Savage (she’s the only Diva I see change her outfits on a weekly basis), and a hint of a Y2J era Jericho. I love her nickname, and I’m not just saying that because I’m a Bruce Springsteen fan. “The Boss” apparently doesn’t even sign her name at autograph signings. She brings a big stamp with her. One of the coolest things about Banks is that I actually believe her character. She seems legitimately pompous all wrapped up in an “I told you so” attitude. At this point Banks is the only Diva on the roster I CAN’T see as a full-fledged face ever, which is unbelievably refreshing to see from a Diva. The Divas of the new millennium have always been so bland and interchangeable that you can see them booked as a viable face or heel without questioning it. I don’t see Sasha ever being able to become a humble face. This is a huge thing that I feel will ultimately separate her from all the other Divas for years to come.
If I run in to Lillian Garcia this weekend, I’ll let y’all know.
I’ll be back on Sunday just in time for SummerSlam, which I am super stoked for.
Any thoughts on the Divas or this Sunday’s blockbuster PPV, comment below.
Here’s to ya!
Match of the Week
Becky Lynch/ Sasha Banks contract signing, NXT, May 6, 2015
In order for me to be completely sold on a wrestler, I usually have to see them in a whoop ass match. I can honestly say Sasha Banks was the ONLY superstar in history that sold me on her character from a contract signing. Again, the Stamp. OUTSTANDING.
