IN WHICH NOBODY TOLD US THAT WE’RE FIRED

HOLY SHIT, you guys are never gonna believe what just happened. I ran out to buy a pack of cigarettes, and as I was walking down the street, I saw a huge EXPLOSION! I looked up and there was this little girl sticking her head out the window, screaming for help. So I climbed up the wall of the building, rescued the little girl AND her kitty, and then just went about my day like nothing happened! The little girl offered me free cupcakes for life, ha ha! I am awesome. Don’t look to read about this anywhere but here, though, as, uh, sometimes superheroic deeds such as this go unreported.

Here’s some other shit that happened this week:

• We’ve got exclusive full-album streams; the latest from Judas Priest and Arsonists Get All the Girls! Check ’em out before they’re released on Tuesday.
• We finally completed the list, and then some.
• As it turns out, Devin Townsend often enters in our “funny photo caption” contests. We spoke to some members of Kylesa, too!
• We checked out the latest releases from Warbringer, Slough Feg, Obituary and Goatwhore.
• The folks at Limewire want to share your music, but not their pizza.

Don’t forget that I’ll be on the Metal Injection Livecast tonight at 10 PM EST. Listen in, call in, whatever. Just show me some love, you dicks.

-AR