Monster Energy Drink Definitively Proven to Subliminally Endorse Satan

This woman’s argument is so thoroughly thought-out that I might actually be inclined to believe it if my IQ were in the single digits. As it stands, I only wish everything she says was true. If I thought that drinking Monster could truly “unleash the beast” I’d drink a gallon of it every day. Unfortunately, I suspect that the actual root of her upset was not being classified as a MILF by her son’s friends. Just a theory. I don’t have, like, references to the Hebrew alphabet and shit to back up my assertion.

[via Dangerous Minds by way of Metal Injection]