MEGADETH TOUR WILL SQUASH “POTENTIAL FEUD,” BUT WITH WHOM?

Blabbermouth tells me that Dave Mustaine has released yet another of those bizarrely cryptic messages (No, I’m not going to make the obvious joke) he digs so much:

“Today is the 9th of April and I have agreed to doing something last night that I am sure a lot of people are going to be very excited about, and something that I had hoped would one day lead to another one of the potential feuds going away for good, if not for a long while.

“I can’t confirm the band or the dates yet, and I have to go get my youngster up for school. Rest assured, as soon as we are ready to announce it, you will be one of the first to know.”

Man, Mustaine loves his teases, don’t he?

So. Here’s the part of the article where we ignore the irrelevant sections of Mustaine’s message (If you can’t confirm the band yet then what the fuck does getting your kid up for school have to do with anything?) and recklessly speculate on what band Megadeth will soon be touring with.

First of all, let’s talk about this phrase “potential feud.” No idea what the fuck that means. Someone cynical about human relationships might say that everyone is a potential feud until they’re not, as you never know what path things will head down; and I imagine this is doubly true if Mustaine’s reputation for being a dick has any truth to it.

So for now I want to pretend that Mustaine is, for whatever wacky Dave Mustaine reason, using “potential feud” as a way of talking about just a plain old every day run of the mill feud, like Axl versus Slash, The Van Halens versus Hagar and Anthony, or Sean Hannity versus logic.

Still, this assumption doesn’t exactly narrow the field; plenty of people hate Mustaine. But we have to assume it’s a reasonably famous band, as Mustaine promises that “lot of people are going to be very excited.” That would be a hard promise to live up to if the tour mate turns out to be, say, Joey “I Swear I’m Still Alive” Belladonna.

And while Mustaine could be talking about the actual Anthrax – a Meganthrax tour would certainly be killer – there’s no potential feud there, as Scott Ian never has anything bad to say about anybody that isn’t Dan Spitz.

This leaves two candidates:

• METALLICA. But it’s not Metallica. They didn’t even acknowledge Mustaine at the Hall of Fame, they’re certainly not about to share a stage with him.
• SLAYER. Mustaine and Kerry King have traded a lot of barbs in the past via the press, and a Slayegadeth tour would certainly make a  lot of mouths smile.

In conclusion: stay tuned for an announcement of a fall tour featuring Megadeth and Slayer. Of course, this will be immediately preceded by more cryptic bullshit from Dave Mustaine about expecting big things and wiping his son’s tushie.

-AR