MetalSucks’ 2013 Holiday Gift Guide for Metalheads

Christmas is soon and Hanukkah is sooner! (And for those of you hardcore sunlight-haters, Winter Solstice is around the corner, and maybe you give gifts to celebrate the darkness? That seems like something you guys might do.) If you want metal-friendly and creative gifts, look no further! It’s a fun, party friendly time of year, and I don’t want the gift part to stress you out. I’ve been showering Vince with gifts for years, and I feel like I’ve really gotten the hang of it. I am here to spread my wisdom. Here are some metal ideas from a self-proclaimed A-1 gift giver.

iPhone cases have become as necessary an accessory as your black eyeliner or goth cape. Vince has a Dream Theater one that is pretty cool, and it tends to take his texting game to the next level. For your iPhone-loving sweetie, try one of these hardcore covers from Zazzle or Red Bubble, or this Cliff Burton case that’s currently for sale on eBay.

Etsy is a magic wonderland of anything you could want and any gift you can think of. It’s also real artists making specialized, original things, as opposed to garbage by that’s been mass-produced by corporations in China. A quick search of it brought up several gift worthy items:

A Dokken record turned into a hip clock (they also have plenty of other clocks using different metal/rock artists including David Lee Roth, Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath). I would probably go for the James Taylor one myself, but to each their own!

It is indeed a long winter and you need to stay warm. Why not cozy up under this Dio fleece blanket with your dog, cat, bunny or lover? It’s handmade, and I think you can get a design not just for Dio, but for any band you want!

For those of you with a more limited budget, these pins for your jean jacket show how much you love metal without spending the family fortune.

This is also good for those pressed for cash: an artsy “metal only” photograph to frame for your honey so he or she can be reminded of their one and only (metal!) at the workplace or home office.

Or just a simple and beautifully done guitar pick for your dreamy band mate (or your bandmate with benefits, if you catch my meaning).

For the little ones you’re hoping and praying become as big metal fan as you are, this heavy metal coloring book might help your cause:

Or for the older kid who loves capitalism, there’s AC/DC Monopoly:

I always like the gift of a magazine subscription, because it lasts all year long, and also because I love magazines (sometimes, I just want to read something that isn’t on a screen). I know Decibel well, as it comes to our door once a month. A subscription is only $30 and shows you care:

Or if you prefer pounds to dollars, the UK’s Metal Hammer seems like a quality publication:

If you only have $10 and want to keep your music and mags mainstream, try Revolver:

One of my favorite gifts on this list is this bottle of Bordeaux made with the help and inspiration of Geoff Tate, the lead singer of the incomparable Queensrÿche. At $35, it’s a thoughtful and delicious gift for your metal boo. You can pop it open and put on Empire and get romantic! It scored 91/100 from Wine Spectator, which is a great sign.

If you’re metal friend or lover is more into the hard stuff, maybe a bottle of Motörhead vodka!

If your special superstar is more into drinking on the go and looking sleek and cool while doing so, maybe a metal flask would suit them. Check out some choices here and here.

Or maybe that same superstar is a recovering alcoholic or a straight edge vegan? How about a heavy metal water bottle to stay hydrated on the road? Get ’em here and here.

There is nothing (and I mean NOTHING!) a metal head loves more than an old school soft black t-shirt with the name of their favorite band.  You might be best off just going to a local Salvation Army or thrift store, but sometimes you need to increase the chances of finding that one out-of-print Mötley Crüeshirt that’s been vexing your special someone since they saw their older cousin wearing it in 1989. Browse out eBay, Metal Shirt Shop, Defunkd and Etsy to find the perfect shirt! MetalSucks makes some great shirts, too.

Or for when the temperature drops, who in their right mind would turn down a hoodie (which, ironically just auto-corrected on my computer as ‘homicide’)?Relapse and Earache have some nice choices and of course, MetalSucks.  I have one in a men’s small I wear all the time!

Just moving in with your metal mister/mistress? Love metal yourself and want to live in a mature, nicely decorated place, but still be true to your metal roots? How about this charming poster? Get it framed for 100 bones more and enjoy it for years to come. Watch as your guests gather around it and laugh. What a conversation starter and innovative idea! I love this and wouldn’t mind one in my own home.

Or at Art.com, you can get most prints stretched onto canvas, and they look great. They also seem to have everything, including sections called “death metal,” “thrash metal,” “metalcore,” and “Avenged Sevenfold” (who I always accidentally called “Avengefold Seven”). Wow, Art.com, I had no idea!

Or, if you’re feeling a little sillier, you can get this huge wall decal of the sign of the horns for the price of $38 and a lot of jealous house guests:

And then there’s the ultimate gift: the 70,000 Tons of Metal cruise! When searching for this, I literally found a Matchbox 20 cruise #terrified. But honestly, for big spenders who love the open sea, the sun, and metal music all together, why not take your metal lovebird (and yourself) on a seven day metal cruise. Our friends Noa and Rob Injection always tell us how much fun this is! Maybe Vince will take me one day, fingers crossed! This year’s acts include Carcass, Death Angel, and Soilwork. You can book it here.

Or, if you’re sick of domestic travel and want to take it to a new level — Amsterdam, Germany and beyond — try the European Full Metal Cruise! Dates for 2013 haven’t been announced yet , but you can give your partner an IOU for a Euro adventure to remember:

Happy Holidays my friends! Let me know how these gifts go over with your loved ones!

Yours,
MetalGF