IF KID ROCK WENT TO IRAQ, WHY DIDN’T WE MAKE HIM STAY THERE?

Let me begin this post by saying I am not against our armed forces. If you still hold the “You can’t be against the war but for the troops” mentality, this article is not for you. In fact, this website is not for you. Intelligent thought clearly isn’t for you, either. Fuck off.

One of Vince and mine’s closest, oldest friends enlisted on September 12, 2001. Literally. He saw the terrorist attacks and he signed up to go fight bad guys. The military was supposed to pay for his college in return, which was a bonus – mostly, he wanted to be patriotic and do the right thing. Cut ahead to 2007, and the guy’s term of service has been involuntarily extended so many times he’s doing anything he can just to get kicked out; when he finally succeeds, barely avoiding a court martial, the military, needless to say, refuses to pay for his school or his medical care, and he comes home with PTSD. The last time I saw him – which, unfortunately, was about a year ago – he was on meds for his PTSD, but it was powerful he was constantly rocking back and forth in his seat as a side effect. This is a dude I’ve known since I was six years old.

I mention all of this so you’ll know why the following makes me so fucking angry.

Every time I’ve gone to the movies for the past – Christ, it must be the past year, at least – I’ve been forced to sit through one of two “rock videos” that are, in fact, recruitment ads propaganda for the National Guard. One of them is a song by 3 Doors Down, and the other, “Warrior,” is a track by everyone’s least favorite rich kid turned red neck, Kid Rock. Our buddy Anso at Hipsters Out of Metal! just brought it to my attention that the Kid Rock video is on YouTube now, I decided to post it and then, naturally, rant.

Here’s the video. Some random thoughts after the jump.

1. What the fucking fuck does NASCAR and Dale Earnhardt, Jr. have to do with the National Guard?
2. The soldier brings the kid his soccer ball and it’s all good? Seriously?
3. Kid Rock looks right into the camera and says “I’m giving all of myself, how ’bout you?” What crap. Being a rock star is not “giving all of yourself,” at least not in the context Rock means. No, not even if you perform for the soldiers overseas. You wanna look right into the camera and challenge the viewer’s sense of duty? Try making a societal contribution more substantial than “Bawitdaba,” shit for brains.
4. As Anso notes, funding for this piece of turd wasn’t pulled from thin air – “we, as taxpayers, are paying Kid Rock to counteract the American military’s horrible public image with schmaltzy bullshit.” Swell.

Rant over.

In case you’re curious, here’s the 3 Doors Down video, too. Note that the clip suggests that National Guard was somehow involved in the Revolutionary War. Since the National Guard wasn’t formed until the early 20th century, I’m not entirely sure how this is possible. Probably using the same logic that says NASCAR has something to do the National Guard.

-AR