JUNKIE KIDNAPS SLASH, TURNS HIM INTO DAMNED DIRTY HIPPIE

I choose to remain cautiously optimistic about the new Velvet Revolver album, and Vince and I will hopefully dive into the great Old GN’R Vs. Velvet Revolver Vs. New GN’R debate later this week, but in the meantime, VR have posted some new studio footage on their website. It’s difficult to tell much about the direction of the new album from the incredibly brief snippets of audio included here, and I know it’s wrong of me to judge with so little evidence to go on- but footage of Slash, Duff, and Not Izzy sitting around doing mellow jams on their acoustic guitars while a sign that clearly reads “NO RIFFING” hangs nearby bodes well only for Dave Matthews fans and people who write for Rolling Stone.

I mean, Slash, baby, seriously- “no riffing?” Are you out of your fucking mind? Didn’t you once take credit for the immortal riff that drives “Welcome to the Jungle?” Wasn’t the seed of “Paradise City” Duff’s brain child? Isn’t it true that you never wanted to record any of Axl’s piano ballads, or the entire second half of LIES for that matter? DIDN’T SLASH ONCE WRITE THE RIFF FOR “SWEET CHILD O’ MINE” BY FUCKING ACCIDENT?!?!

Later we get a glimpse into the now sober mind of the inimitable Mr. Weiland, who sings- over a slow, acoustic ditty, natch- “Radar signal seeking you but finding nothing at all.” On the last album, he proclaimed “Somebody raped my tapeworm abortion/ Come on, mother fuckers, and deliver the cow.” I guess we should at least be grateful that Mr. Weiland has moved onto more easily comprehensible metaphors?

-AR