BLACK METAL DR. SEUSS

In honor of the birthday of Mr. Theodor Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss, this past monday Illogical Contraption composed a quick poem about Norwegian Black Metal, inspired by the playful verse of the man himself.

In the kingdom of Norway, a far away land
You’ll find oh so many crap-tabulous bands!

There’s Darkthrone and Emperor, out on the fjords
All decked out in corpsepaint, with leather and swords!

There’s Gorgoroth, Burzum, and Mortiis to boot
Wearing his silly old skull-codpiece suit!

But first there was Mayhem, a quarrelsome group
Who looked hella evil but sounded like poop,

They burnt down some churches, they dug up some graves
Those black metal bozos just wouldn’t behave!

Varg killed Euronymous, Dead killed himself
It seems as though Metal was bad for their health!

Then Varg went to prison, turned into a Nazi
And changed his name lots of times, flippity-flopsy!

But black metal lived on, in spite of this shit
Murder and death didn’t work, not one bit!

If you listen closely, so late late at night
When the moon is all round and the wind is just right,

You’ll hear these same bozos, all singing along
Playing their flibbulous black metal songs!

[Thanks: Shelby Lermo]