In Which We Wanted Pancakes

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2013 really got rolling this week! Here are the top stories:

• A six-year-old and her dad wrote a grindcore song about pancakes.
• For Today guitarist Mike Reynolds outed himself as a bigoted dick, and members of the metal community reacted.
• We pondered ten guitarists who could take Rob Caggiano’s place in Anthrax full-time (since Shadows Fall’s Jon Donais is just temporary)
• We want these awesome pop stars/metal t-shirt mash-ups.
• We took at look at the coolest vending machine ever.
• We learned that Varg Vikernes and his wife are making a horrible-looking movie.
• We learned that they have white trash in Norway.
• Speaking of white trash: Ted Nugent compared gun owners to Rosa Parks.
• We did not loathe Loathe’s video for “Bucketlove.“
• We started to get stoked about the FOUR albums Agoraphobic Nosebleed are currently recording.

On Monday, we’ll begin to roll out the 2013 Albums That Will Fuck Your Face Off, our yearly feature in which each member of the staff previews one under-the-radar release for the coming year. It’s gonna be fun! See ya then!