DISPATCH FROM AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE IN WHICH SAMMY HAGAR IS THE LEAD SINGER OF ALICE IN CHAINS

Sammy Hagar turned 65 recently, and he celebrated his qualification for senior citizen status not by getting a discounted ticket at the movies, but, rather, by holding a concert at his Cabo Wabo Cantina in Mexico. And as part of that concert, he performed Alice in Chains’ “Man in the Box” with Jerry Cantrell and Matt Sorum. And if you’re thinking it’s probably pretty weird to see Hagar singing about having his nose shoved in shit and his eyes sown shut instead of, like, complaining about the speed limit or whatever… well, you’re thinking right. But I guess Hagar does kind of look like Cantrell’s kind-of-but-not-really cool uncle, so he’s got that going for him.

Video of the blessed event: