Only Gene Simmons Would Charge You $12,495 to Be His Roadie
Do you have far too much money and not enough self-respect? Do you have the type of endless pit in your stomach that craves for even the slightest modicum of attention from your favorite rock idol? Are you willing to pay that idol a ridiculous amount of money to help lug his shit on stage before a show? Then boy does the ‘retired’ KISS bassist Gene Simmons have a deal for you.
With the Gene Simmons Band heading out on tour next month, the eponymous musician is offering his fans with the deepest pockets a chance to pay $12,495 to be his roadie for a day. That’s right — even though he thinks rock is dead, you can pay for the privilege of joining a team of paid professionals to try and help Gene Simmons and his band set up for a show.
The package, called the “Personal Assistant And Band Roadie For The Day”, is just for one gig and includes the following:
- You will meet up with Gene and GENE SIMMONS BAND members early in the day (either at his hotel or designated location) to go over the band’s show day schedule.
- You will be on the GENE SIMMONS BAND team crew for the entire day!
- You will get a GENE SIMMONS BAND crew member shirt and hat
- You will get a GENE SIMMONS BAND crew member VIP laminate
- You will have a meal with Gene Simmons (at the hotel or backstage at the show)
- You will arrive and load in to the venue with the band
- You will help the band set up for the show
- You will hang out backstage
- You will sit in on soundcheck
- Gene Simmons will bring you on stage during the show and introduce you
- You will get a setlist signed by Gene Simmons
- You can take photos throughout your entire experience
- You may bring one guest
- You may bring four items for Gene to sign (no instruments, parts, etc.)
- And… you get a Gene Simmons (KISS-rehearsal-used) bass signed by Gene Simmons
Now, some of those things sound like they’d be cool for any fan. It’s just the concept of paying to do work for an artist that ostensibly has enough money to pay his own damn roadies. And you know he does — maybe he just wants to make his fans work for his attention. Or maybe he’s short a guy and figured he could squeeze some cash out of a fan. Who knows?
Oh and tickets to the show aren’t included, so you gotta pony up for that as well.
The Gene Simmons Band will be on tour from April 3 in Anaheim, California until May 24 in Houston. You can find the full list of dates below.
April 3 – Anaheim, CA @ House of Blues
April 4 – Temecula, CA @ Pechanga Resort Casino
April 5 – Rohnert Park, CA @ The Event at Graton Resort & Casino
April 8 – Auburn, WA @ Muckleshoot Casino Resort
April 10 – Magna, UT @ The Great Saltair
April 11 – Denver, CO @ Paramount Theatre
April 25 – Clearwater, FL @ Ruth Eckerd Hall
April 26 – Miami Beach, FL @ Fillmore
April 28 – Tallahassee, FL @ The Moon
April 29 – Jacksonville, FL @ Florida Theater
April 30 – Orlando, FL @ Hard Rock Live
May 2 – Peachtree City, GA – The Fred Amphitheater
May 3 – Beaver Dam, KY @ Beaver Dam Amphitheater
May 5 – Red Bank, NJ @ Basie
May 6 – Montclair, NJ @ Wellmont
May 8 – Bethlehem, PA @ Wind Creek Casino
May 9 – Huntington, NY @ The Paramount
May 11 – Uncasville, CT @ Mohegan Sun Arena
May 14 – Northfield, OH @ MGM
May 15 – Niagara Falls, ON @ Fallsview Casino
May 17 – Hammond, IN @ The Horseshoe
May 18 – Rockford, IL @ Hard Rock
May 20 – Nashville, IN @ Brown County Music Center
May 22 – Dallas, TX @ House of Blues
May 23 – San Antonio, TX @ Tobin Center
May 24 – Houston, TX @ House of Blues
