Comedian Dave Hill’s Top Albums of 2024
(Editor’s note: Looking back on 2024, there were so many good albums released that we decided to reach out to some of today’s artists and get them to weigh in on their favorites. What follows is comedian Dave Hill’s ‘Top Albums of 2024’.)
Hello. My name is Dave Hill, comedian, musician, actor, author, and man-about-town. But more importantly for the purposes of this heavy-metal based Internet website, I am the King of Metal. I am also the King of Black Metal, which is totally different. Anyway, when the editors of MetalSucks cautiously approached me about submitting my top five of 2024 list, I said sure because my bus wasn’t coming for another fifteen minutes anyway and I hate to miss out on an opportunity to school f@#kers on metal. So here goes…
Hellbutcher — Hellbutcher
No one was more upset about Nifelheim breaking up than I was except for maybe some of the guys in Nifelheim and probably Hellbutcher and Tyrant’s (the awesome twin brothers from Nifelheim) mother, who I can only guess hates to see her sons fighting. But then Hellbutcher just came back with another band that is pretty much just as awesome at heavy metal as Nifelheim was and maybe even have a better band name because it has the word hell in it. Hellbutcher is so good at heavy metal I had to check the back of the album to make sure I wasn’t in it. I really hope they come to play in America because otherwise I’m gonna have to move to Sweden just so I can hang out at Hellbutcher practice or some shit.
Blood Incantation — Absolute Elsewhere
It pisses me off how readable Blood Incantation’s logo is sometimes, but I can’t stay mad at them because they are so awesome at cosmic/new age/psych/weirdo-hanging-out-at-a-mall-food-court death metal that sometimes I honestly think they’re just f@#king with me. I played this album for my dad and he wrote me out of his will. It’s that good. We still went to Panera after though and he paid. F@#k it- I’m his baby boy!
The Melvins — Tarantula Heart
The Melvins are the best at music and also the best in general. They do exactly what they want while also having the best hair and outfits, which are the three main things in life basically. Every day I wake up and realize I’m not in this band is a major disappointment. Still I carry on with my slightly larger than average-sized dong and make the best of things because I owe it to my dog.
Fu Manchu — The Return of Tomorrow
Fu Manchu’s new album combines classic Fu Manchu awesomeness with a softer side that is great to put on while making out with the third hottest chick from high school or maybe just eating a salad. In fact, this one time I pulled my Geo Tracker into a Bennigan’s parking lot just to clear my head for a bit and after a while the cops pulled up to hassle me but then I just put this album on and they couldn’t say shit about it. In fact, they totally wanted to hang out but I was just like yeah right- like they could even handle it.
Darkthrone — It Beckons Us All
This isn’t my favorite Darkthrone album or anything but it’s still so much better than most other heavy metal albums it made me want to form a heavy metal band and then just immediately break up afterwards out of respect for its greatness. It’s a wonder Fenriz and Nocturno Culto even finished recording it considering how much time they must have spent high-fiving each other throughout the process. And the best part is, they will probably put out another Darkthrone album by the time I finish typing this. F@#k- I should probably move to Norway and join this band or something. I bet those guys would be pumped.
