Nickelback and Kid Rock Co-Headlining Tour Will Be the Biggest Gathering of Divorced Dads Ever

In a move that’s probably not super surprising in 2024, two powerhouse acts for disaffected white men looking to take a victory lap following Donald Trump’s electoral victory have joined forces to let middle aged divorcees do just that. That’s right — country rap grifter Robert James Ritchie (aka Kid Rock) and Canadian hard rock act Nickelback will be sharing the top of the bill for a traveling festival called ‘Rock The Country.’

Described by the fest’s organizers as a “movement, a gathering of hardworking, God-fearing patriots who love America and believe in the power of live music to bring people together,” this shit is definitely going to be chock full of dudes making alimony payments and riding around in their midlife crisis-mobiles. Sure, their kids are embarrassed by them, but at least they can spend two nights where “the beer flows, the love pours, and the music rains down like a monsoon.”

But that’s not all. The traveling Budweiser drinkers convention turned rock and country festival will unsurprisingly feature acts like Aaron Lewis And The Stateliners, Big & Rich, Hank Williams Jr., and Lynyrd Skynyrd, just to name a few. In fact, here’s the whole lineup:

The festival will also feature a “Throwback Happy Hour” featuring Diamond Rio, Shenandoah, Mark Chesnutt, Lee Greenwood, Sammy Kershaw, Neal McCoy, and Deana Carter. In what may be the biggest divergence from the rest of the bill, there will be some “House Party sets” by Afroman, Ying Yang Twins, Rehab, and Dee Jay Silver.

If any of that sounds like a good time to you, or you’re about to finalize a divorce before the tour kicks off this coming April, you might want to peep the late list below.

Rock The Country Tour

04/04-05 Livingston, LA – Livingston Fairgrounds
04/25-26 Knoxville, TN – Greenback’s Maple Lane Farms
05/02-03 Poplar Bluff, MO – Brick’s Off Road Park
05/09-10 Ocala, FL – Florida Horse Park
05/30-31 York, PA – York Expo Center
06/13-14 Hastings, MI – Barry Expo Center
06/19-21 Cullman, AL – (Rock The South) York Farms
06/20-21 Little Rock, AR – Arkansas State Fairgrounds
07/11-12 Ashland, KY – Boyd County Fairgrounds
07/18-19 Sioux Falls, SD – WH Lyon Fairgrounds
07/25-26 Anderson, SC – Anderson Sports & Entertainment Center