Love Bites: Trust Issues, Online Dating, and Is Flirting Cheating — with Stormi Maya

What’s up metalheads?! The name is Stormi Maya and I front the band Cinnamon Babe, though you might know me from my modeling or acting skills, too. I’m back with even more relationship and love advice. I’m here to make you feel heard. Hopefully through this column, we can wade through the rough patches of love, sex, and intimacy together.

To do that, I’ve been collecting questions from people of all walks to life to get to the heart of their issues and draw from my own experience to hopefully give the best advice I can.

Now, it wouldn’t be the internet without a buncha people trying to get their rocks off in the replies, but if you have a serious question or need advice, email me at [email protected].

Now, let’s get started.

“How do I get women to take me seriously for a relationship? Because I am a musician they assume that I am a cheater and that I party everyday.”

As someone who is also in entertainment I understand how difficult it can be to explain our lifestyles to people not in the industry. For that reason, I believe the best relationships come with patience. Not everyone is going to accept your career choice or be a good fit for you, but eventually you’ll find one that does.

For examples, I have an OnlyFans and model nude. I’m aware that there are a ton of men that would never feel comfortable dating someone that does what I do, but I also know there are men out there that are okay with it, and even some that love it! That means I have to be more selective and weed out all the men that do not fit my lifestyle with the goal to eventually find the one that’s okay with what I do.

Another option is dating within the industry, that way there’s no confusion. Whether you date a DJ, musician, model, or Promoter, sometimes dating someone within your world is the easiest option. You won’t have to explain what you do and they’d have to be a hypocrite if they distrust your work. It’s also fun dating someone that shares your passions.

“With the swipe right mentality of today, do people not put as much effort into relationships anymore?”

In my opinion. Internet dating has created too many options for people and has produced a society of short attention spans. With thousands of people at your fingertips, it’s no surprise that it’s harder and harder to connect.

I suggest getting out in the real world and meeting people. Places like the local library, the gym, work, or at the park can be great places to connect with people in real life. Meeting your next potential partner in person is also better than online since you can figure out quickly if there’s a spark. Oh, and there’s no risk of catfishing if you meet in public.

I love online dating too, don’t get me wrong. But if you’re going to do it, then take action and plan a date. Actually make a move and don’t get trapped into talking online for months and months, slowly losing interest. The biggest issue with online dating in my experience is being stuck into a cycle of small talk and no action.

Is flirting cheating?

Yes and no. Based on your partner’s comfort, what y’all agreed on is the relationship boundaries and how far you take it.

I am a natural flirt. For example I will call the cashier “Baby” and I might tell the doorman he’s handsome; for me it’s very innocent and I just like being sweet and boosting some confidence during the day. But some tight-asses don’t even want their partner wishing a good morning to the neighbors if they look too good. I think a little flirting is natural and harmless. Extreme restraints on a person are unhealthy and cause more harm than good. I can’t imagine being in a lifetime committed relationship where I can’t even smile at another man without a fight.

But once again, this all boils down to what kind of partner you have and what they have vocalized as their idea of “cheating”. Cheating is subjective and can be blurred. But with some communication and understanding, you and your beau will know what’s okay and what’s not.