Not Even John 5 Could Salvage Mötley Crüe’s New Track “Dogs of War”

Well, this was about as predictable as it could be, wasn’t it?

Mötley Crüe released their first new single without Mick Mars and it’s… not great. Coming in more like a John 5 solo track than a Crüe single, this thing just sounds and feels lifeless, which I guess is apropos since the video features computer generated zombie versions of the band.

And let’s talk about that imagery for a second. We’re talking about the Crüe — a band that hasn’t been good in years, if not literal decades. Shambling along on its successes now nearly 40 years in the rear view mirror, these guys deluded themselves in thinking they could remain relevant when they should have just counted their money from that Netflix adaptation of The Dirt and enjoyed retirement. Instead, we now have this sort of overproduced, tired sounding four minutes that proves once again that Mick Mars was the secret sauce this whole time.

I just can’t imagine what this would sound like in a live setting. The whole thing is just one big Pro Tools commercial if I’ve ever heard one. As expected, John 5 holds up his end of the bargain. His guitar tone sounds good and that solo’s fucking fire, but with Tommy Lee’s pretty standard drumming on the track and Nikki Sixx likely pantomiming his part on stage, that just leaves us with Vince Neil. And of all the parts in this song, good ol’ Vince’s vocals sound like they’re the most heavily processed part of the mix. Of everyone in the band, he’s the most washed out of all of them and no amount of digital fuckery’s going to hide that.

I really wanted to eat my words about modern Mötley Crüe. I really wanted them to prove me wrong, but this just ain’t it, man. But with this being the kick off of what will surely be a new album, we’re just starting the ride. And it’s gonna be a rough one…