Tucker Carlson Opening for Kid Rock is as Cringey as You’d Expect

It’s hilarious how fast some parts of the country will yell “shut up and play” when certain artists get a little preachy with their politics, yet they’ll cheer when some ghoulish grifter on their side starts reciting whatever crap they agree with. It happens on both sides of the discussion, but we may have seen the least cool and most cringeworthy example of this over the weekend, as rich kid and fake Bud Light hater Kid Rock had the ultra badass Tucker Carlson open for him.

I shit you not, this past Saturday in Gonzales, Louisiana, disgraced Fox News commentator and dude who definitely got atomic wedgies everyday in school Tucker Carlson stood at a lectern prior to Kid Rock’s set to spout out some of his regular bullshit.

He told the people in the crowd that they were living in the “last free country,” which is factually inaccurate, but sure. Nevermind all those other western countries that operate better representative democracies than America.

Alternative facts, I guess. Then he tried to pin the whole debacle on God, which I’m sure the big man upstairs wasn’t too keen about being lumped in with Kid Rock, of all people.

“So let me tell you, my fellow Americans, what we’ve got. All gathered here tonight are free people united by our love of country and under God.”And in the name of that country and that God, we’re here to celebrate a party that will not stop. And so, as I know you can, please be as noisy and disobedient as possible for Kid fucking Rock.”

Referencing the country he apparently keeps hearing about “on the internet,” Carlson downplayed the fact that people are unhappy with how the country’s going. His comments talked about his friendship with Kid Rock and how despite all the negativity he feels might be unfounded circulating online, he sees the country as a beautiful place.

“The country they tell me about on the internet is fucked up. The country that I experience when I walk through this crowd, or when I wake up in my town of 100 people in a rural area, is a beautiful country filled with beautiful people.”

Now, far be it for me to disagree that America’s a fucking wonderful place to live, full of freedoms that other countries don’t have and the right to think and say whatever we want to. But it’s not a uniquely American experience, though Carlson tried to make it sound that way. Let’s not forget Carlson and his like looooove shitting on things like censorship and identity politics right up until the moment those things benefit their side of the debate. Then, it’s “ban this book” and “they should be fired” and “I’m a Christian, so your laws need to follow my beliefs.” It’s tired and directly contradicts Carlson’s comments.

After all of that posturing, all of those tired conservative tropes, and all the hooplah about the “real” America, I still couldn’t get past the most egregious parts of this whole thing — Tucker trying to act cool and his insanely embarrassing laugh.

I mean, honestly, watch the clip and tell me you didn’t recoil with at least some modicum of embarrassment. After all, who actually goes to a Kid Rock show and thinks “boy, I hope Tucker Carlson is there!”