Jersey Guy Pulls a Florida Man By Crashing Into a Police Station While Blasting Guns N’ Roses

Sometimes, things just kinda fall into place. Like finding a crisp $20 bill on the side walk or witnessing something beautiful in nature. Then there are times when you’re just out on a drive and your favorite song comes on, causing you to submit to your intrusive thoughts and fucking PLOW YOUR SUV INTO A POLICE STATION WHILE BLASTING GUNS N’ ROSES.

At least that last bit is what I imagine happened in my beautiful home state of New Jersey, as a man named John Hargreaves, 34, of Belvidere, deliberately crashed into the Independence Township police station on the night of September 20.

How do I know it was deliberate, you ask? If you watch the footage below, you can see the motherfucker throw his hands up in celebration and I’m pretty sure you can see him “woo”-ing. Motherfucker popped out of his vehicle to celebrate like he just kicked a field goal from 60 yards out.

Couple all that with the alleged fact that he was apparently blasting “Welcome To The Jungle” as he plowed through the structure, and you’ve got a New Jersey guy that really wishes he was living in Florida when this shit went down. At least down there this sort of thing is normal.

And what’s even crazier is apparently that wasn’t the first structure he drove into that night, as he’d allegedly drove into the garage door of a home in Liberty Township (come on with these town names, guys…) to harass the homeowner, before driving into the police station to turn himself in.

Police say they have no clue what the motive for the incident was. Luckily, no one was hurt. Still, Hargreaves was formally charged with burglary, criminal mischief, and a weapons count (in both crashes), as well as counts of terrorism, aggravated assault, and causing widespread injury or damage as a result of his turning the police station into a drive-thru.