Try Not to Cringe at These 10 Embarrassing Metal Moments

Metal has a reputation of being super serious all the time. It’s all just super proficient musicians standing on monolithic stages, playing loud and violent music, and looking like absolute badasses the entire time they’re doing it.

But what about the mistakes? The whoopsies? The little moments of levity where something happens and for a brief moment, that hardcore mask slips and we get to see the men and women we love watching kick ass on stage do some embarrassing shit? What about moments that occurred in metal that embarrassed both the artist and everyone watching?

With us now being in the dog days of summer and festival season is here just as the heat and humidity has begun getting the better of us, here’s a little something to take the edge off a bit.

Abbath Takes a Header

During 2017’s Metaldays Festival, Abbath wanted to get up close and personal with the crowd. That part is great. Unfortunately, as he ran to return to the stage he fell head over heels on the grass. Luckily he was totally ok. Look, we could actually fill all ten of these slots up with Abbath’s antics but then we also have to wonder if Abbath considers his drunken mishaps embarrassing or not. Either way, we will always love him.

Glenn Danzig Gets Knocked Out

Glenn Danzig. Master of Jeet Kune Do. Jeet Kune Do, as told by Danzig, was the style of martial arts that Bruce Lee used. Unfortunately, Bruce Lee wasn’t there to help him when he went down with one punch at the hands of North Side Kings’ Danny Mariano. If only Danzig took his vitamins and French Onion soup, this might have been a decent match.

Hoest of Taake has a Wardrobe Malfunction

The 2003 Inferno Festival might be considered the Superbowl of Black Metal. As such, just like Janet Jackson during the NFL’s Superbowl, Taake mainman Hoest has a wardrobe malfunction of his own as his decision to go commando while wearing torn and tattered jeans results in a surprise for those in the front row. Someone get this man some new jeans, preferably those modeled by fellow Norwegian black metaller, Frost (Satyricon).

Satyricon Plays a Fashion Show

Speaking of Frost, In 2011 Satyricon lost their trve kvlt card (some might say they never had one) when they played a fashion show at the Nordic World Ski Championships. Nothing more black metal than playing on a national stage behind models as they strike a pose. Instead of burning churches, it appears Satyricon might have been more interested in burning up the runway.

Couple in Crowd Engages in Extra Curricular Activities at Maryland Deathfest

For those that have been to the famed Edison Lot at Maryland Deathfest, we know not to expect the lot to be a bastion of decorum and good taste. For the most part, it’s downright disgusting. But the over-the-top atmosphere known for rambunctious behavior was taken to a new level when a couple decided to engage in oral sex during a set by Autopsy at the 2022 rendition of the Festival. It seems inappropriate behavior by the couple was followed by even more inappropriate behavior by those near them in the crowd.

Sophia Urista Urinates on a Man’s Face on Stage

Few of us heard of the band Brass Against before this notorious incident at Rockville 2021, but the band quickly rose to the tops of every social media site in the world with their cover of Rage of Against the Machine’s “Wake Up.” Not for the quality of the cover, mind you, rather the fact that lead vocalist Sophia Urista (that’s really her last name) decided to relieve herself on stage. But not just on stage. Rather, on stage, on a man’s face. Urista publicly apologized and then stated that she is “not a shock artist.” And I’ve won a Pulitzer Prize for journalism.

Alcohol Gets the Best of Azazel at 2017 Steelfest

Overindulgence of alcohol in the heavy metal world is nothing new. In fact, it’s rare to see alcohol NOT being consumed by both metal bands and fans. Sometimes, however, it gets taken too far. This was true with black metal Azazel at 2017’s Steelfest. Not only was the lead singer an absolute mess, the guitarist drunkenly fell against the steel barrier, needing the medics to come out and assist him. Leaving the stage with the help of medics is so trve kvlt!

Paul Stanley Gets Caught Lip Syncing

Now, don’t get me wrong, lip syncing can be a great form of entertainment. However, when you’re billing yourself as the “hottest band in the world” and charging a small fortune for seats, fans might expect you to actual be signing your own songs. Kiss frontman Paul Stanley gets busted, big time in Belgium in 2022 as his lips stop moving but the vocals keep playing. Oops!

Sharon Osbourne Orchestrates Egg Throwing at Iron Maiden

Sharon was not happy with Bruce Dickinson’s on stage banter during the 2005 Ozzfest Tour so rather than do the adult thing and talk to Bruce and the guys in Maiden about it, she allegedly loaded up a bunch of kids in the audience with eggs and peanut butter. The people were then instructed to pelt Maiden with the food while performing. Now, don’t get me wrong, I hate watching Jannick Gers prance around on stage just as much as the next guy, but throwing eggs at a band – especially a band like Maiden – is an embarrassment for the entire metal scene.

Vanilla Ice Makes a Metal Record

All right, stop, collaborate and listen, in 1998 Ice came back with a new invention. That’s right, the most authentic rapper of our generation, Vanilla Ice, once made a metal record. Nu-metal of course. Featuring the single “Too Cold,” Vanilla shows us that yes, it was possible to make even worse music. Word to your Mother.