13 Metal Icons That Should Have an Action Figure
When it comes to bands and merch, there’s no end to the amount of plastic bullshit you can line your walls and clutter your shelves with. Hell, Funko Pops of James Hetfield, Lemmy, and Vince Neil (from his good days) just scratch the surface, while Tood McFarland figures extremely popular rock and metal icons offer a more life-like semblance.
If getting your grubby little mitts on as many plastic idols of your metal gods sounds like your definition of a good time, then why stop at the icons we already have? Why not further celebrate the increasing number of metal artists and legends who’ve been cast into plastic, by coming up with some who still haven’t gotten the coveted toy treatment.
With the holidays coming up, now’s the perfect time to talk about some our favorite metallers and who we’d love to see in our stockings.
Abbath
Accessories: Removable black leather vest, raven, long axe
Playset: Blashyrkh
How has Abbath NOT been made into an action figure yet? I mean, this guy is perfect. A larger-than-life musician from grim and frostbitten kingdoms, you could pose him in his signature crabwalk formation – or even better – those classic poses with Demonaz from the Battles in the North era.
Peter Steele
Accessories: Signature green and black bass; large bottle of wine
Playsets: Duff’s Brooklyn or CBGB’s
The legend of Peter Steele only grows stronger. We still miss him dearly and while a miniature of his bass has already been produced, there’s no Peter figure to go with it.
Jill Janus of Huntress
Accessories: Phlebotomy Kit, Tarot Cards
Jill Janus of Huntress was like no other and her striking looks and masterful performances are legendary. She prowled the stage with intensity and focus. A highly detailed figure of her will keep her memory alive.
Zakk Wylde
Accessories: Bullseye guitar; BLS vest, Pile of Skulls mic stand
New Jersey’s own Zakk Wylde can do it all. You can put him on stage next to Ozzy or have him front his own band. Maybe he can even come in a four pack with Phil Anselmo, Rex Brown and Charlie Benate for the Pantera tribute.
Randy Rhoads
Accessories: Flying V
Well, if you’re making Zakk Wylde, you really have to make Randy Rhodes as well. The original master who was instrumental in launching Ozzy’s solo career deserves to be forever immortalized.
Glenn Danzig
Accessories: Box of Cat Litter, Can of French Onion Soup
Playset: Backstage Area with the North Side Kings (featuring Danny Marianino pack in)
Well, we’ve already got figures of Jerry Only and Doyle, so it makes sense that we should have a Danzig figure as well. This figure would ideally also come with a playset of Glenn’s library from the infamous Danzig home video. You, too, could pretend to read “The Lost Books of the Bible” while you say, “Welcome to my Book Collection.”
Chris Barnes
Accessories: 2nd Gen iPhone opened to Twitter app, Undeath CD, Handgun
Watch your child scream with joy as they pretend to make Cameo videos and block people on Twitter just like they’re Six Feet Under’s Chris Barnes! Your kids will have hours of fun arguing with fans on all the major social media sites and complaining about damn near everything from “classic” death metal to politics.
Mac Sabbath
Accessories: These Come as Happy Meals Toys (of course)
Now, the fine folks at McDonald’s might have an issue or two with this but many of us would lay down some serious cabbage for the likes of Slayer McCheeze, Ronald Osbourne, Grimalice and Catburglar.
David Vincent
Accessories: Removable nipple ring, Black cowboy hat, Cowboy boots, Donkey
Now this figure might be “Too Extreme!” for some but you too can pretend to be Evil D as you dodge fans outside of gigs and pretend that you had nothing to do with Illud Divinum Insanus.
Gaahl
Accessories: Paintbrush and canvas; Sheep heads, Wine goblet
Playset: Gaahl’s House with scared Vice reporter pack-in
Gaahl has both a striking voice and a striking presence to match. His use of visuals in both his Gaahl’s Wyrd stage show and with Gorgoroth makes him perfect for action figure immortality.
Alissa White-Gluz
Accessories: Vegan Quinoa bowl; Stack of PETA pamphlets
This, of course, comes in a Doyle/Alissa two-pack that preaches to you the benefits of being vegan and why they’re both vegan and how they live as vegans. And then they also talk about being vegan. Single edition comes with insufferable screaming fan who constantly yells about how Arch Enemy was better with Angela Gossow.
Frost
Accessories: Anti-Sweden Skinny Black Jeans, Couch
Playset: Drumkit, Airplane with scared kid pack-in
An action figure that can never be produced with a smile, Frost can bring his massive fortitude on the drums to your own home! Put on your own clinic in your family room with Frost on the throne!
Johan Hegg
Accessories: Shield Wall!, Dungeon Masters Guide, Canadian LARPers
Playset: Viking Ship Stage Set
Another metal titan who’s persona and look scream action figure. Drink wine out of the the skulls of your enemies as you savor your victory over… ummm… who are these guys in Amon Amarth actually fighting again?
