Slipknot’s New Masks, Ranked from Worst to Best

Yesterday was harvest time for metal journalists, as nine-headed Iowan sex nightmare Slipknot announced their new album The End, So Far, and dropped a new single titled “The Dying Song (Time to Sing).” The video for that song also featured several of the band members’ new masks, and this morning, Kerrang! has offered us an up-close look at what these dudes’ updated faces.

While some of the band’s new masks are awesome, others are totally wack. So because we can’t leave well enough alone, we’ve decided to rank Slipknot’s new masks from worst to best. Here’s how we see it…

9. Sid Wilson

We get it, you like fuckin’ Star Wars. We’re especially bummed because up until now, Sid has had some of the most interesting masks in the band. But this Robot Deadmaus thing is just not doing it for us. Nice try, DJ Starscream!

8. M. Shawn Crahan

Glam Clown? WHY? We actually really liked the translucent face that Clown was doing for the last album cycle. But this? A disco ball? Nah. Feels too much like the blinged-out Slipknot logo at the beginning of the new video — a push in a weird direction that no one asked for.

7. Alessandro Venturella

I AM THE BURGER! This is almost a good mask for Venturella, and we can see what he was going for with it, but it’s just not landing for us. Maybe it’s not enough mask — just sort of a weird face cap. In any event, low on the list, without question.

6. Jim Root

More and more, we just get the vibe that Jim Root doesn’t want to wear a mask anymore. This mask just looks like an old one that he’s cut pieces away from over time. In any event, that eye ain’t exactly our favorite thing either. NIGHT PAIN.

5. Jay Weinberg

We actually REALLY liked Jay‘s mask when we first saw it, and we still dig it…but we hate the pink around the eyes. We love the sad look, and the goo mouth, but then why do we need the pink? Woulda looked cooler just grey.

4. Mick Thomson

Not much to say here. Mick is still Jason X, and we’ve always loved that look on him. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

3. Craig Jones

Ooh, or fix it a little! We’ve always enjoyed Jones‘ urchin head mask, and he hasn’t changed it much…but this time, the nose and eye indents really add something upsetting to the mix! We’re here for it!

2. Corey Taylor

Well, Corey‘s new mask has been out for some time, so this isn’t exactly a huge revelation. Still, we appreciate this mask a lot. It looks like a maggot — like an actual grub. That’s a cool idea for an updated Corey Taylor look.

1. Michael Pfaff, AKA Tortilla Man

YES. FUCK YES. Dude, Tortilla Man stepped UP this time around! His mask looks like all the debut-album-cycle Slipknot masks had sex and this was their collective love child. The vertical eye slits? Love ’em. The zipper smile? All about it! The weird Dracula collar? Why the fuck not! All that, and the holes on the side make us wonder if this started as a pair of underwear. Hats off to Michael Pfaff, man. He wins this album cycle.

Slipknot’s The End, So Far drops September 30th, and is already available for preorder. Check out “The Dying Song (Time to Sing)” below.