Kid Rock: Donald Trump Asked Me for Advice on North Korea and ISIS

Sometimes I wake up and think, Yep, I definitely know the dumbest shit Donald Trump has ever done. But others times, I make breakfast, check my phone, and learn that despite being out of office for well over a year, the orange motherfucker has outdone himself again. The world where Kid Rock is the voice of reason is a very scary one, but it’s also the world we happen to live in. And in a recent interview with Tucker Carlson on Fox News, Kid Rock stated that (presumably while golfing) the impeached former president asked him about advice on ending the ISIS caliphate and on North Korea.

Here’s what Robbie the Kid Rock says happened:

“I was there with him one day when he ended the caliphate. He wanted to put out a tweet … he goes, ‘what do you think?’

“We’re looking at maps and [shit], and I’m like, ‘Am I supposed to be in on this [shit]? I make dirty records sometimes, the [fuck] am I doing here?’”

And to cap it all off, Trump asked him about North Korea. But to his credit Kid Rock gave probably the only educated interview response of his life:

“‘What do you think we should do about North Korea?’ I’m like… What? I don’t think I’m qualified to answer this.”

So there you have it: in this world where Donald Trump was president, there was a point where Kid Rock probably could have been his foreign policy advisor. I’m happy that he at least had enough sense to say, “Hey, I’m not the guy for this,” but at the same time, I also need to go purge my body of filth for typing 300 words about how I just decided that Kid rock is the lesser of two evils.

If anyone is looking for proof that we are and have been in a simulation, then please feel free to add this to the file. To whoever is running that simulation, could you please quit fucking with the political settings? We are all very, very tired.