David Lee Roth Disses Sammy Hagar (I Think)

You’d think if there were any one thing in the universe that could make David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar be civil to one another, it would be money.

But if there were any TWO things in the universe that could make David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar be civil to one another, they would be money and the death of Eddie Van Halen, the guitarist to whom they both owe a considerable amount of their fame and fortune.

But no. Eddie is dead, and Diamond Dave is still being a dick to Hagar.

Roth, you may recall, has been using the lockdown as an opportunity to share his visual art. Often dubbed The Soggy Bottom or some variation thereof, I imagine Roth imagines the illustrations are like sophisticated little New Yorker cartoons (spoiler alert: they’re not that sophisticated).

His latest piece appears to be one giant, unprovoked middle finger to Hagar. Framed as the front page for a fictitious newspaper called The Daily Catastrophe, the painting features a red dude in some kind of rocket — because Sammy is “The Red Rocker,” see? — alongside phrases “Sam The Man Not Only Will Be Giving His Life For Rock And Roll, But Plans To Be Buried In His Recently Acquired Jet!”, “Red Rocker Refuses To Fly 55 In Afterlife,” “Concrete Flowers For Sam,” and “Soggy Kudos To The Bottom’s Favorite Front Guy For Planning Ahead!”.

Roth’s general tone seems hostile — there are not one, not two, but three references to Hagar’s death — but generally speaking, I’m not sure I really follow any of Roth’s insults.

The bit about the jet, I guess, is meant to suggest that Hagar isn’t a Man of the People, but then… it’s not like Roth is a manager at Home Depot, now, is it? According to celebritynetworth.com, Hagar has a net worth of $150 million, while DLR has a net worth of $60 million. So yeah, Hagar has more money, but DLR is by no means blue collar.

As for all the stuff about death… my first thought is that it’s somehow meant to pertain to Eddie Van Halen’s recent passing. But how, I can’t tell. It just seems like a bunch of random shit.

And I have no idea what the stuff about Sammy “planning ahead” means. Just. Flat out. No clue where to even begin. Is it another “joke” about death? A reference to a last will and testament? Why is it even a diss to say someone plans ahead? Or is it not a diss and I’m somehow just completely misreading the entire tenor of Roth’s illustration?

My barely-educated guess as to what provoked Roth’s ire is this:

Since Eddie died, there’s been all kinds of talk about the “kitchen sink tour” he was reportedly considering, which would have reunited all Van Halen members past and present — Roth, Hagar, Michael Anthony, Wolfgang Van Halen, and maybe even Gary Cherone (presumably so as not to hurt Cherone’s feelings by making him the only one left out and/or to provide the audience with a built-in pee break/beer run during the show). And I think it must be driving Roth nuts. In a weird way, he may have expected Eddie’s death to throw a spotlight on him as the world inevitably re-listened to and re-evaluated Van Halen’s catalogue. Instead, Eddie’s death threw a spotlight on EVERYONE in the band. So Roth felt compelled to insult Hagar… albeit, again, in a very odd, not-easily-discernible and certainly not-witty manner.

Feel free to share your own theories as to what Roth is getting at in the comments section.

[via Classic Rock]